Doing What You Love Doesn’t Mean It’s Supposed To Be Perfect
There’s a misconception out there that doing what you love is supposed to be easy or somehow without its share of strife. I hear a lot of people say things like, “this wasn’t supposed to be so hard,” or, “this isn’t worth it anymore.”
They give up on their dreams because they expected to see greater results with less effort.
Likewise, I see a lot of people talking about their dream job as if they aren’t supposed to admit there are any downsides. They’re selling an Instagram-worthy image of success without a sign of friction, and that’s a damn shame.
Let’s be realistic and honest. Simply being alive means we have to deal with everything that life throws at us. So no matter how much we love anything in this world, we are going to encounter some negatives about it too.
Doing whatever you love to do tends to buck the expectations of other people. Whenever I told anyone that I wanted to be a writer, I was met with resistance from others who didn’t think I could do it.
Even now, I’m frequently met with resistance from people who don’t think I’m good enough to call myself a writer yet, people who don’t like my topics, and those who continuously suggest I go get a “real” job. But that’s all to be expected. Doing what you love can rock the boat, and not everybody is down for that.
And of course, there’s resistance that comes from the job itself. For various reasons, doing what you love isn’t always easy. Sometimes your head just isn’t in the game despite your own desire to succeed.
Me? I love writing. As soon as I get started, I typically hit my stride and don’t want to stop. Usually. But there are still days where nothing comes out right. And there are even days where it’s hard to even get up the gumption to do it. To focus. To settle down my brain.
See, just because I love writing, that doesn’t mean I love every single minute of it. I don’t. I also love being a mom, and yet some of that role sucks too. There’s resistance–both within me and outside of me.
The same is bound to be true for you.
My personal philosophy about doing what you love is that it should lie somewhere in the middle of the road. Sure, if it’s all an uphill battle, the time will come to assess whether or not you’re actually on the right path.
And if there’s zero challenge? Maybe you’re selling yourself too short.
We often have a very odd relationship with failure–when one thing doesn’t work out, we look at ourselves as complete failures. But few efforts in this life are actually total flops.
The worst-case scenario of most failures is exaggerated. We can always learn something when things don’t go according to plan, and sometimes a failure is a greater success in disguise.
My life has been riddled with failure, but I won’t let that keep me from doing what I love to do. Yes, my failures are often embarrassing. But I take comfort in knowing I am not alone, and the only truly permanent failure is to have never really tried.
However you can, go ahead and embrace your failures. They make you human and relatable. And you can always make a comeback if your heart is in the right place.
It’s only natural to want to give up anytime we face a ton of friction. We may start to question how much we really love to do something once we encounter the downsides.
Looking at my day ahead, I can tell you that there are two or three pieces I really want to write and get them done tonight. But there are other things I’d like to do too. Like, spend quality time with my daughter, take a relaxing shower, and even leisurely enjoy a meal.
I have a lot of expectations of myself to accomplish a ton, and in many ways, that can be my own undoing. If I don’t want to burn out, I need to take some personal time.
Of course, it’s not just me who puts pressure on myself to quit. Outside factors make me want to give up too.
If you are trying to do what you love, the urge to quit is bound to happen. For most of us, I’d say that’s sooner rather than later. Trying to succeed at most things where our passion is tied to a paycheck means serious work. You can do it, but you’ve usually got to outlast a ton of obstacles.
I think this is the only real way to move forward. People talk about getting their ducks all in a row, but how do you do that when there are unexpected disappointments everywhere?
Setbacks certainly do exist, but we can use those things for good. At the very least, most negative experiences since beginning my “dream job” offer great perspective later down the road.
Honestly, you can use some of your worst experiences to help motivate you to achieve your goals. You can use your pain to better relate to others and your failures can even help others.
Plus all of that resistance you’ve had to face? It makes success taste even better.
Here’s the moral of the story. You can do what you love. It might take a lot out of you to make it happen, but you’re much more capable than you think.
Especially if you can embrace the suck and understand that every good day can’t end with a rainbow.
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Doing What You Love Doesn’t Mean It’s Supposed To Be Perfect
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