How to Make Good Bad Decisions
Sure, don’t date a cokehead. But I’d nurtured a deep secret crush on him for a year. We worked at the same bar. He looked like Billy Idol, with blue streaks in his hair. A few years older, funny. Charming.
Finally he asked me out. Everyone knew he had a little habit. Friends told me to watch out. I didn’t listen.
We dated for barely a month. Then we had to split. I was starting to turn into him, and that wasn’t good for me.
But wow, what a few weeks. It was like dating a rock star. Everyone in town knew him. We went everywhere for free.
Every night was a party.
When I got tired of all that, we ended — not even on a bad note. There were some weird moments where his drug use made me feel uncomfortable. But I never sank down into addiction with him.
He always said he was going to quit. But then a friend would offer him some more “for old time’s sake.” As if they were war buddies.
After the split, a few of my friends tried to play “I told ya so.” They wanted me to admit I’d made a bad decision.
But that’s the thing. I hadn’t. We both knew exactly what we were walking into, even if neither of us knew where things would go. My limits were clear — I’d never snort anything. And I stuck to that promise. Our chemistry was off the charts. Worth every minute, until it wasn’t.
We spend a lot of time worrying. We try to predict the future. Search through endless books and blog posts on living our best life.
Maybe we should stop trying to do everything right. Sometimes, we should do something wrong, because we want to.
Everyone has to figure this question out for themselves, but I can offer my own examples. For starters, trespassing is a bad decision because you’ll get arrested. But I really like seeing the insides of old abandoned buildings. So I take the risk. Once, I did get arrested.
It was worth doing. That night, a group of us explored an old asylum. Two of my friends hooked up and later got married.
Overall, a good bad decision.
I’ve also done dangerous things in the mountains. Been caught in severe thunderstorms. Engaged in some underage drinking. Entertained some one night stands, even with married partners.
These all qualify as bad decisions. Technically, we were breaking laws or endangering ourselves. Or doing something “immoral.”
But we studied the risks and weighed the payoffs. Then we took steps to minimize the downsides.
Actual bad decisions are easier to spot. The #FOMO and #YOLO mindsets miss the true spirit of good bad decisions.
There’s no real upside to eating a tide pod. Likewise, a few of my friends once thought it would be fun to shoot Roman candles at each other. One of them definitely wound up in the hospital.
Going to a strip club the night before a job interview — also an actual bad idea. You don’t think anyone would try. They do.
The reasons go beyond excitement. We’ve all heard that little voice that says, “You probably shouldn’t do this?” That voice doesn’t always know what’s best for you. Playing it safe isn’t always healthy.
Denying ourselves adventures turns us into prunes. Over time, you get used to talking yourself out of risks.
Every single decision you make comes with consequences. Society has simply trained us to believe some are “safe.”
We know actual bad ideas come with clear consequences. Dating a drug addict you have a crush on may or may not ruin your life. Actually doing drugs yourself probably will.
Trespassing may or may not get you arrested. Running from a cop definitely will. So if you get caught, go quietly.
When preparing to make a bad decision, I’ve always thought about the worst thing that could happen.
Having sex on the first date might not work out so well. But you don’t know that for sure. If you really want the sex, then don’t let fear and guilt or horror stories tell you otherwise.
Can I live with getting dumped after sex on the first date?
Yes. That’s his problem. Not mine.
Can I live with getting arrested for trespassing?
Yes. It carries a fine but doesn’t do much damage to your record. But I know friends with law degrees. They can’t do any of that stuff. Their records have to be scotch clean. So it’s relative.
Can I live with getting arrested for indecent exposure?
No. That knocks you out of job searches. So I’ve never joined the public sex bandwagon. Besides, no real upside there. Unless you’re an adrenaline junkie. Even then, just go skydiving.
Can you have sex while skydiving? I think you could try.
Like I said, it’s relative. A professor can get away with more than a lawyer or police officer. A politician has to exercise a lot more caution than the rest of us, because the stakes are higher.
Star Trek junkies will remember this one episode from NextGen. Captain Picard regrets a moment from his youth, when he started bar fight and got stabbed in the chest by an alien, which led to him needing a futuristic pacemaker. The alien was cheating at pool. Picard called him on it, and that’s what led to the brawl.
The omniscient entity known as Q offers Picard the chance to change his past. So Picard goes back in time and avoids the bar fight. He lets the alien cheat at pool and win. Turns out, that was a mistake.
It was a good bad decision — standing up for himself— that made Picard who he was. Without that moment, he never becomes a starship captain. The rest of his life unfolds in a quiet, sad way.
I’m not telling you to start a bar fight with an alien and get stabbed in the heart. But I’m not telling you not to, either. We just have to think about what we want long term, and who we are in a given moment. We have to consider what we’re willing to live with, if the worst happens.
That doesn’t mean living a safe life. Sometimes, you have to make the wrong choice and accept the outcome.
Why? For the experience points.
The only thing you get out of life is a set of experiences. As someone who doesn’t necessarily believe in an after life, I’m hoping it all ends this way: I see death coming, and have a few minutes to relive all the cool shit I did. That includes making out with really hot cokehead with blue hair, going broke in Spain, and almost getting plowed by a tornado.
Our experiences shape us. They influence our next decisions. We become better at assessing risk and reward. Bad decisions are inevitable. We might as well learn how to make them with a little swagger.
How to Make Good Bad Decisions
Research & References of How to Make Good Bad Decisions|A&C Accounting And Tax Services
Source
0 Comments