Feeling lost
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* To protect your identity do not use your full name.
3 posts since
22 May 2019
My cancer came back two years ago, l had had breast cancer 11 years before so a fair amount of remission.
l have been on a drugs trial for the last 14 months until they found a very small lump and now l seem to have a different type of cancer in addition to the first one. I’m off to see the consultant tomorrow to find out what will happen next, it looks like it will be oral chemo tablets. I’ve read the side effects and am feeling very down cause as soon as l pick myself up and sort of feel like me again something comes along and l have to start all over again.
l was told that l have about two years to live and that really plays on my mind. I have two grown up daughters who both have partners, l feel it’s unlikely that l will be here for their weddings never mind grandchildren and l don’t know how to prepare for that. Do you write endless cards saying your sorry not to be there?
well any thoughts or advice would be very welcome, just feeling very low at the moment
Thanks
1009 posts since
4 Jan 2019
Hi catty the specialists don’t always get it right there’s people on the forum who years ago were given months to live and still here today, if you have treatment things could improve more it worked the last time, i know treatment not nice, alot of us on here are still having some but we keep going we don’t want C to win, God bless.
Billy
P.s any time you feel like chatting drop a line.
6 posts since
22 May 2019
Hi. Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I am a grown up daughter of a mum who has just been diagnosed. Similar situation, I suspect my mum feels the same as you. As daughters of course we would love our mum’s to be there on our wedding days and there for our grandchildren. I know my mum is more terrified of how we feel than her diagnosis! But coming from me I am trying to value every second of having my mum around wether it be lounging at home, taking a walk or a special occasion. To have her still here on my wedding day would be amazing but we have to make peace with the fact that she may not be. I’m sure your daughters are worrying more about how you are feeling than about their wedding days!! The best advice I could give it talk to them and let each other know how your feeling. It gives a strange sense of contentment knowing you are both enjoying the time you DO have together in the present rather than worrying about how each other will feel in the future. Good luck with your diagnosis xx
3 posts since
22 May 2019
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply your advice helped me see things from a different perspective and to think about the now rather than what might or might not be.
l do hope your Mum gets the medical care she needs and that that is able to keep her stable. She is very lucky to have you on her side as you understand how things are.
thank you again
Misseycat
3 posts since
22 May 2019
Hi Billy. Thank you for replying l was having a really bad day and it was good to hear from somebody who understood.
Misseycat
95 posts since
10 Mar 2018
Hi Misseycat. Just seen your post and wanted to send a few words to you. I know something of what you feel. I was diagnosed with T cell NHL November 2017. Just came out of the blue. Dident feel ill at all. Just a tiny lump appeared on my stomach. Went on to have a few lumps arrive and biopsies. Then three weeks radiotherapy and then CHOP Chemo. I’m no youngster so it hit me hard and I lost my hair which I hated. Since the chemo I’ve had two more lumps which have healed as the others did on the surface. So far thank goodness not gone into organs. My oncologist says it will probably behave like this in the future but I am so worried. I have dreadful back ache and tummy problems and I am so scared it’s spread. Not been well or got any strength since the chemo. Feel very low too. Like you I have a lovely family. Three daughter, 6 grown up grandchildren and 3 baby great grandsons. I like you want to be with them longer. I’m seeing my oncologist 4th June so hoping for good news. The only good bit is my hair is growing back really well but like you say I want me back. Like someone said though there are lots of lovelyfolks on here who have been given short time to live and they are still here years later so keep hopeful and positive if you can. Not easy I know. Sorry I’ve gone on a bit here. Sending lots of hugs. Always here to chat xxx
Feeling lost
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