Feeling heartbroken
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34 posts since
20 Feb 2020
Hi everyone,
I just need someone to listen to me on this rollercoaster journey. Back in November 2019, I had a baby and my mum was absolutely over the moon at the arrival of her first grandchild. She came round pretty much every day and helped me as a new mum. Fast forward to February, my mum has a routine mammogram which detected a small lump. Fast forward a few weeks, the lump was found to be 14mm grade 2 cancer so she had a lumpectomy and was set for radiotherapy. Last week, she received her histology report , with not so great results ( upgraded to Grade 3, lymphvascular invasion)
The good news is her lymph nodes were clear, her margins were clear but on the letter there was a NPI score which works out to be 70% survival over the next 5 years. When I’ve put the results into the NHS predict tool it says 90%.
i suppose what I’m trying to say is I’m desperate and heartbroken. Finding out that my mums cancer is more aggressive is hard, supporting her without physically seeing her due to Covid is really hard, her not seeing my baby grow up or even being able to ‘distract me her with him. I am also worried about the prospect of her undergoing chemo in this current climate and I’m just worried I’ll lose her and she won’t see her grandchild grow up. Sorry for the sad , negative message , I just don’t have anyone else to talk to. She meets the oncologist this weeks so fingers crossed xx
258 posts since
6 Apr 2020
I am soooo sorry about your mum.
I just wanted to come on and give you virtual hugs and to say you can talk on here.
I wish I could add something useful but I can’t.
I have never experienced anything like this before, maybe you can also phone the nurses for a chat about it to comfort you, they are really nice.
10 posts since
9 Apr 2020
Hi Glittersgold,
I totally understand how you feel. I was told last week my mums salivary gland cancer had been removed entirely and was localised and with radiotherapy we were looking basically at complete cure. Fast forward a week and the routine mri, which for some reason the consultant did not wait for when he gave us the results, showed some small deposits on her lungs. Suddenly we’ve gone from complete survival to no hope, offered no treatment and that’s it. It totally knocked me sideways (that’s an understatement). The pain has been unbearable. My mum sounds like yours, my little boy is 1 and she has always my my world, would give anything she had, drop anything for us and we are always number 1 priority. Of course she is an amazing nanny too. My son adores her. I’ve had all the same thoughts you have had. I also found out I was pregnant again 3 days before we were given the heartbreaking news. Of course the first person I called was my mum who screamed with joy. I don’t know if the stress is affecting the baby yet.
What I would say is right now your situation seems considerably more hopeful than ours. Her chances of survival seem extremely high to me. And also remember, there a new treatments coming out all the time. I’ve spent all weekend researching options and we are on the brink of lots of new exciting drugs and ways to treat cancer. In 5 years time (or even a years time) things will have developed, new options, greater survival stats. People will live longer and it all sounds really positive from what you have said. She’s got a much greater chance of doing well than not.
I hope you manage to take some comfort from the above. I’ve managed to calm myself down by researching all weekend and giving myself some hope that we can get possible treatment for mum, I just doubt very much it will be on the nhs.
Thinking of you and hope you manage to cope ok over the next week or two. Ps re the current climate, take all the precautions you can, I am sure the hospitals will be extremely vigilant.
xx
Feeling heartbroken
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