Lost my husband now losing my son
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72 posts since
24 Oct 2019
I lost my husband to lung cancer sept 2019 now my 20 yr old son has just turned around to me and said he thinks he is transgender after being with his girlfriend for 2 yrs . Never saw this coming I need to support him as so close but how do I keep up my strength for this ! I am so shocked but I know my husband would have supported him . Don’t think I could take anymore pain .
4683 posts since
18 Aug 2017
Hi there …
So sorry you lost your hubby … cancer is so crule … but saying that … your son has not told you he has cancer or is dying from an illness … I have two sons … and a mother’s love should be unconditional… they could tell me anything … be with anyone … strait… gay …. if that’s who they are … he sounds amazingly brave …
The hardest pain in this world for me would be to loose a child … I have just lost my 18 year old granddaughter to acute myeloid leukaemia a few months ago… what I’d give if she were still here .. whatever gender she wanted to be with … I will never see her again and l have to find a way to carry on every day missing her …
You lost your hubby … don’t loose your son … be proud of who he is … and hold his hand through his journey… or you risk looseing that child you and your hubby made … you helped him to walk as a young child … you took him through school and teen years … now it’s time to be his loving caring mum he needs right now … Chrissie….
72 posts since
24 Oct 2019
Hi Chrissie
thank you for your reply and advice. I would like to say how deeply sorry I am for your loss of your granddaughter. I am very supportive of my son as love him so much and would never give him up . I know my husband would of fully supported him as we said we would whatever our children turn out to be . It’s just hard when you don’t have your husband to hold your hand through this. It’s going to be tough and will take a lot of understanding but he has all his family support. Take care Victoria x
29 posts since
7 Mar 2017
I started reading your post assuming your son was dying of cancer! Wow…transgender why would this be a problem ? I’m in shock that you say this is ‘losing your son”. He is your child regardless of gender and you should love him unconditionally surely?
Lots of people on this site are losing sons and even grandsons to cancer! Sorry but you need to put things into perspective.
72 posts since
24 Oct 2019
Sorry I should have maybe not put this in the title but at the time I just felt a loss as this is very hard to get your head around . I love my son and will support him like his dad would have . Just hard to deal with,without his dad being here to help me through this . I see his dad in him and so scared as he talks about changing his face to look more feminine. Just struggling still after losing my husband but I am close to my son and will alway be here for him
17 posts since
26 Jan 2021
First of all I just wanted I’m sorry to hear the loss of your husband, this must be a truly difficult period for you still, and I hope you manage to find peace.
But I had to reply to this, as someone who is grieving the loss of my mother, the post is a little bit insensitive to people who are going through cancer themselves, and those of us who are grieving or trying to support family members going through their journey. I agree with happydays29, some perspective would be good.
Your son is also grieving his father, at such a young age. I’m a little older, and don’t know which way to turn, so for him he must be so overwhelmed by the fact his father is physically not here with him through his life journey. It may be a shock to you, but regardless of this your son is healthy and feels like as his mother you should support him through what will be a difficult journey already becUse of unfortunate social judgement.
A little bit of empathy to him, plus to everyone on this forum I think would be greatly appreciated.
72 posts since
24 Oct 2019
Sorry if I have efended anyone this was not my intention and I am really close to my son and he has my full support and his family too . Just shouldn’t have put this out there so sorry once again x
4683 posts since
18 Aug 2017
Hi there …
I hope you can move forward and help your son through his grief and whatever path he takes … if you can go forward with him … then this thread was worth it if he gets his loving mum back … then you can hold each other’s hands going forward …
It’s never to late to change and become a mum he needs … you can do this… I do hear love as well so concentrate on the positive and I’m sure you can understand how much he must be going through .. so take his hand and move forward together … Chrissie x
Lost my husband now losing my son
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