Life is less about what happens than about how we deal with it
We all have problems; most of them caused by something that is beyond our control.
It doesn’t matter what is causing the bitter experiences in our lives, it could be the system, the government, climate change, the universe, God or life itself, we can’t change what happened.
Even our lives are out of our hands. Did you choose to be born? Can you choose when to die?.
Note that the only choice you have is to evolve or to resist.
We love certainty and security because we can’t have it.
Life is uncertain, and we pretend to tell God what to do.
If we understand that our time here is a trip that is not under our control, we learn to surf in the uncertain waves that are given to us.
If we don’t understand that simple fact, we use our energy to resist the waves, and we won’t go anywhere. We stay stuck in a place that probably is not the best for us and inhibit ourselves from evolving.
Since we were kids, change is a constant behavior of ourselves and our environment. Even our bodies evolve every day.
But when we are so into the who, we lose sight of the what.
Not so long ago, I didn’t embrace change. I thought I had to be crystal clear about the person that I was supposed to be. I wasn’t happy with how I was living my life, but I was still resisting change.
Life was desperately trying to make me realize that I was on the wrong path, hoping to be someone that I wasn’t.
It is no surprise that I felt like a failure. It didn’t matter what I did; it never was enough. My perfect and static me was killing my authentic and dynamic self.
I have to say that I hated (and still hate) when somebody would tell me that “that’s not what you used to think, why did you change your mind? You should not change your mind”.
Before, I used to take that judgment seriously and thought to myself that whoever asked me that question was right (mostly my mom).
I felt guilty about changing my mind.
Now, I realize that change is the only thing that I can take for granted about me and anybody and anything else.
Why do we have to stay the same if it is not working? Why do we have to resist if we can flow? Why do we have to feel bad for not being able to control everything that happens in our lives?.
When we embrace the beauty of change, we can choose how to deal with anything that life puts in our way.
Happiness is not measured by the things that happen to us; it is measured by our capability to feel content (or at least ok) with the experiences that we get to live.
Last week, Venezuela had an electrical blackout for three days. I live in Caracas, and I faced the disaster first hand.
There was no power, no light, no internet, no phone service, and no water.
I have a baby, work from home with my computer, my stove is electric, and there was not a single cube of ice in my freezer.
And I also had a choice. I could have panicked about the situation, or I could be content with the challenge of living a simpler life for a few days.
I decided to be happy without electricity.
I am reading Sapiens (by Yuval Noah Harari), and all I could think about was that most humans lived thousands of years without the commodities that I think I need so much.
After all, I was luckier than millions of Venezuelans that had it way worse.
I could buy some ice and bottled water, had short periods of electrical service during the blackout, there was food on my cupboard, and had fuel on my car.
I realized that between all I was missing, I was still abundant and had nothing to complain about.
Now that I have the basic services back, I am grateful for the person I showed myself to be when my older me would have lost its mind.
It is not like I am asking for this kind of mess to happen again, but now I know that I am ready to face some discomfort.
When we choose to flow instead of resisting, we allow creativity to help us find a solution.
We use our energy to fix things instead of wasting it with complaints.
Anything that happened, happened. There is no going back to how things were before. All we can do is become the person that can face the challenge or the person that can live a simpler life. Every other action is pure resistance.
The only thing we have under control is ourselves.
We may have many expectations from life, but it is wiser than us. We don’t know what we don’t know, and we could be expecting the wrong things.
Let’s surf the waves of life while we enjoy the trip and learn how to be a better, wiser and more empathic version of ourselves.
Life is less about what happens than about how we deal with it
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