A Beginner’s Guide to Find Motivation for the Gym and Life
I have never been a fan of the Body Positivity Movement.
It’s a movement rooted in the idea that everyone’s body image, regardless of body type, can and should be celebrated. The idea of self-love and acceptance of physical traits is indeed a healthy mindset. But in this age of consumerism, the normalcy of fast-paced work, combined with the modern convenience of seeing that sugary snack at your local supermarket, human nature takes over and finds the easiest option. You buy that burger and fries combo to hold you over until you get home after work/school and plop down into bed. And inevitably you fall asleep to repeat the process again tomorrow.
And on top of it all, with a comfortable idea such as the Body Positivity Movement, it can be incredibly easy to justify those habits. Body positivity alone is not the issue, but rather when it is used as an excuse for unhealthy behaviors that sacrifice bodily health for mental health. You can have both. I am not saying I don’t want people to love their bodies, but rather the sense of complacency it can accidentally breed can be troublesome. Humans are largely in control of their physical and mental health. And tackling those two with dedicated effort is how we grow as people, rather than concerning ourselves with the world and what others think.
Nobody can hope to understand how demanding your work-life is. Nobody should care about your weight because you love yourself regardless. You have a family history and genetic disposition to weigh more, so why try? Right?
Time. Complacency. Genetics. These are the most common excuses I hear when I ask my peers why they don’t maintain a healthier lifestyle. I am here to tell you that you can beat all three excuses with one mindset.
Despite what you may hear, your overall fitness is actually 70% diet and lifestyle factors (sleep, supplementation, etc.), and the remaining 30% is exercise. But because my personal passion is largely focused on physical fitness, I am going to focus on exercise and finding your motivation.
For me, it all began 5 years ago with a girl and a relationship that fell south. It’s funny how when you’re young and think you have everything figured out, yet your whole world can be shattered in an instant. Crazier still, how bitter you can become towards the world that you see wronged you. The saving grace in all this was my mother. She may have raised me with more love and care than I could ever hope for. However, it was still a home run by a strong Filipino woman, meaning that her idea of “love” was talking sh*t to my face even though she said nothing but good things when I wasn’t around.
I was raised in a household of brutal honesty, never sugarcoating the reality of our poverty or my flaws. And I believe that kind of parenting derives itself a lot from the Catholic faith my mother was raised in. Because Catholicism, though plagued with shortcomings, teaches an important lesson: that it is human nature to make mistakes. But true strength is found in recognizing those mistakes, openly admitting them, and making active efforts to improve.
That is the core of the Sacrament of Confession and the whole of Catholicism: it is okay to feel guilty, as long as I am honest with myself and use that guilt constructively.
As a kid, adopting that blunt honesty made making friends difficult. But the seek-to-improve mentality helped me stay focused, graduate top of my class, and become the first in my family to attend college. The accolades started to go to my head, and I became a pretty arrogant guy, to say the least.
After chatting with my mother for hours about my 3 year-long failed relationship, endlessly ranting about the things my ex did wrong to me and the worldly circumstances that brought me to this point, my mom, in her classic brutal honesty, said something I will never forget:
It took me days of self-loathing and sulking to dissect what she said, but eventually, it came to me in total clarity: I am not special.
There are billions of people out there struggling through their own problems. Yet I was acting like I was the only one in the world that mattered. People should genuinely care about my problems. Right?
Not only is such an expectation unreasonable, but it is also downright unhealthy.
I began to look at my situation differently: in my head, I saw myself as the perfect guy but the reality was that I did plenty wrong. My problems probably aren’t with the world, but with myself. It was then when I turned the metaphorical lens inward and really began to question why I was depressed. The conclusion was I had two options:
1. Continue being bitter about the world because nobody could possibly hope to understand how I feel. I am special, perfect, and someone will love me for me one day.
2. Rather than fixating on what I am good at, accept that I am flawed and find a way to improve on those aspects. Plenty can go wrong in life, so it’s best to focus on what I can fix and form some sense of accomplishment.
As you guessed, I picked option 2 and began with physical exercise.
In good old Catholic fashion, I channeled my inner feelings of guilt to push myself forward. Did I feel bad about that brownie I ate this morning? Good. Do extra sets of crunches and subject myself to 20 minutes of cardio post workout. Did I skip a day of legs because I was too tired from studying the night before? Good. Do extra sets of squats. Etc.
I hated every second of every extra rep I did. But I held myself accountable for those mistakes because the mere thought of letting one of those slip-ups fly by unaddressed added more guilt on my conscience. Eventually, it came to the point where I didn’t want to have to do those extra crunches. I just avoided eating unhealthy snacks altogether and subbed out chocolate for apples.
Slowly those habits crept their way into other facets of my life. To avoid feeling tired the next day to work legs, I spent less time on social media and finished assignments at a reasonable time. Good habits began fostering other good habits. My body had started to take a seriously noticeable positive change in aesthetics.
I can’t remember exactly when it happened, but I got to the point where the thoughts of my ex and the negative sentiment towards the world around me vanished. It didn’t matter anymore. I was focused on something tangible that was taking form right in front of me, and I became damn proud of it.
Feeling guilty constructively has become taboo with my generation. It has become far more comfortable to hide insecurities and promote wish fulfillment rather than being open about what you can change. What many my age fail to realize is genuine happiness and accomplishment rarely form in a short time frame. It really is the small things you do consistently that add up over time. Yet only a few truly see it through.
With the global rise of depression and anxiety, I feel a large number of Millennials and Gen Z default to living in their own fantasies as an escape from a reality they think they are powerless to face. And that largely contributes to more stagnation due to an inability to acknowledge their shortcomings and make active strides to improve themselves. The problems that the Body Positivity Movement pose are the same, as it is just an extension of wish fulfillment for the human body. It isn’t right to sweep the reality of your well-being under the rug because you are afraid of what others think.
If you want motivation to go to the gym, accept the fact that you are not special. Everyone has problems, and most of them are unavoidable to the point that they stick with us. But shutting yourself in and closing yourself to opportunities that arise has far worse consequences.
It is unrealistic to surmise all of your problems can be fixed by going on a run or lifting weights, but the act of self-improvement itself is starting somewhere. You are not exempt from your genetic predispositions, and depending on their severity, they will likely kill you if you don’t actively do something about it. You always have time to be active, even if for just a few minutes. Telling yourself that you don’t have time is a lie — you just have to prioritize. If you are worried about what others may think, maybe turn your own lens inward and focus on yourself, because honestly, nobody cares.
If you are depressed, saddened, or feel largely unsatisfied with life, really devote time to figure out why. The path to recovery when feeling dead inside almost always can start with finding some outlet: focusing on your own small milestones rather than concerning yourself with the world. In a nutshell, that really is the exciting part of being human. Overcoming challenges and finding yourself superior to the person you were yesterday is what makes life meaningful.
A Beginner’s Guide to Find Motivation for the Gym and Life
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