How to Network With People You Don’t Know and Get the Job You Want
In my professional life, I wear different but complementary hats. I am a headhunter, an associate professor of career strategy at IE Business School, and an executive coach. And in all of my roles, I continue to accumulate experience working with both students and executives who are looking for a new professional challenge, or transitioning to a new role.
From a personal perspective, I am also lucky to have experienced similar transitions first hand, through a non-linear 20-year career in professional car racing, investment banking, and entrepreneurship.
When dealing with professional change, effective networking is the #1 most impactful action. And the more challenging the move, the more critical the role of networking is in securing the outcome.
Today, information is available on a global scale. Submitting your CV online to a company with an open process is only the beginning. The only way to beat the competition is to pair process with action and to network your way to decision makers.
This applies to accomplished professionals too. In my coaching practice, personal branding and marketing are critical areas of development for high-potential executives who are working on their biggest professional goals yet. Doing your job and just hoping it will get noticed is no longer an effective strategy. Most times, you need to make sure it gets noticed.
Despite the fact that it’s absolutely essential, reaching out to people we don’t know remains the toughest high-impact action for most people to take.
Why? Because we all have a psychological barrier when it comes to networking with those people. If you are someone in need, talking to someone with the power to make your day can be nerve-wracking.
Over the past two months, I have worked with many Masters in Finance (MiF) and MBA candidates on their approach to cold networking. Their professional background is diverse, ranging from no experience or some internships to 7 years of professional experience.
What they all have in common, regardless of experience, is how out-of-depth they feel when reaching out to people they don’t know.
Based on these challenges, we put together a simple process that has helped these students network effectively to secure an offer.
This process removes anxiety, allows you to regain control of the conversation, and helps focus on volume and quality of interactions—not on getting immediate results out of each chat.
Let’s dive in!
Before we launch our outbound effort, it is imperative to map who we will be targeting. You may be reaching out to 4 different kinds of people, depending on how accessible they may be:
Interacting with people you know (1) is relatively straightforward. The problem comes when seeking to follow up with people we have recently met (2), or when establishing a relationship with people we don’t know yet (3 and 4).
We will focus on cases 3 and 4 for the sake of this method, as this works best when there is little to no preexisting relationship. The process aims to convert people in groups 3–4 into people in group 1.
To get people you don’t know to engage with you, focus on three key aspects:
We can think of two agendas when cold-calling or cold-messaging people:
Feel the difference? The first one puts us in a “needy” position. The second one will help with the end goal but comes through more agreeably.
On our first interaction with anyone, we should not go straight to the “BIG A.” If you do, the person you are networking with will feel defensive.
Put yourself in their position. Giving you a bit of my time is ok; asking me to endorse your candidacy by recommending your CV to HR when I don’t know you is a much bigger—and also inappropriate—request.
Focusing on “doing research” puts the other person at ease, helping them focus on what they can legitimately do to be helpful. Don’t underestimate how much people are willing to help others when the opportunity presents itself in the right format.
Try something like this:
(Later in this article, you’ll learn all the details on how to define these questions.)
Why does this pitch work?
Besides not focusing on the BIG A, there are some no-go areas during your initial interaction. Do NOT do any of the following:
We said you would only ask five questions, so here they are:
You open the conversation by asking the other person about their approach to crafting their career. Why this job? What other options did they consider? What university or degree? This information provides us with input about their decision-making process and intention.
We follow with a question about the job, the industry, the company, or their career projection. We shift from the individual to work itself.
You may have noticed that we are not opening the conversation by talking about ourselves. This is intentional: everyone enjoys talking about themselves, so we use this to get the other person engaged. I call this the “ego” part.
Key question.
Once the person is ready, we play an “equalization” game. When anyone is giving you advice, they do so from a “higher up” position. By asking this question, you are forcing the other person to “step down” and think of that time in which they were in your position.
We are now asking the other person to vest themselves emotionally with our process. At this stage, you may get the person to offer their explicit help with your BIG A without you even asking. If you don’t, no worries. They may give you a few useful tips to continue your research anyway.
Questions 3 and 4 are the “empathy” part. We are encouraging the other person to meet us at our level and to invest themselves in our long-term need (BIG A) without even mentioning it. By asking them to recall their own beginnings, they can empathize with you more, and the chances of getting the help you need increase dramatically.
And now, to the closing move:
This is the main goal of the call for us. We do not leave the conversation without a new name to continue with our research.
This is key:
Take some pressure off yourself: most interactions will not yield any direct results. And knowing this beforehand can help us focus on the process, instead of obsessing with the result of each interaction.
In my experience, networking for a job is a 20 to 1 game: 20 interactions will result in 5 meaningful conversations, which will then lead to 1 or 2 individuals doing something tangible to help you. If you are not doing this repeatedly, it is unlikely that, statistically, you will succeed. The volume of interactions is the key.
I always ask the following question: how important is getting the job to you? 90% place “getting the offer” at the top of their list.
So then, if this is your top priority, are you blocking out time in your calendar every week that is aligned with the importance of this outcome?
The truth is this: if you are not blocking at least 3–5 hours per week to this process, then getting an offer will be an uphill battle.
By not relying on willpower, but by designing a process. Try blocking predefined slots in your calendar, and treat those as medical appointments. Focus on each day, each interaction, and go through the list. Let the process drive you to the ultimate goal: an offer to do the job you want.
Probably between Q2 and Q3. Or even better, whenever the other person asks you to do it. At that point, they are ready to listen.
You could end wrap up saying — “Would it be ok for me to keep you posted with my progress?” The key thing is to earn the right to follow up.
When you get a hint by the other person, or when you have had a couple of chats, and you feel that they may be supportive. There is no rule for this; you will have to judge the energy of the meeting. Moving people is not an exact science, but an “art”. Rest assured that exposing your contacts to this framework is a great way to open the dialogue.
Bad luck; we focus on the next contact. Focus on the process and not on obtaining immediate results. Again, it’s a numbers game. Some people will never help you, no matter what you try. Be at peace with this fact and move on.
Good question. It comes down to the selection of your initial batch. You may not know them personally, but you can try and pick people that you have something in common with. It will be easier if you attended their same school or university, or if you share a passion for the same sport. People tend to look for points of reference, so give them one, and the initial approach may prove a lot easier.
Since any method is judged upon its results, I ran a survey among the students that had worked with me using this approach during the past few months.
In total, 25 individuals contributed with their input — these are the questions surveyed and the aggregated responses:
Respondents reached out to between 5 and 15 people in their initial effort.
So far, this framework has allowed students to extend their network, reaching up to 30 people in some cases.
These are a few replies:
A “thumbs up” to the effectiveness of this framework when it comes to feeling more in control and getting more out of the interactions with unknown people.
Those getting better results were those that treated networking as yet another priority in their weekly calendar.
The jury is still out in terms of final offers (the recruiting season is still ongoing), but candidates applying this framework made noticeable progress.
All respondents progressed to at least one interview after applying this framework; 25% of them got two so far.
This system allows you to leverage your network. Small initial numbers can grow to hundreds of people over a few weeks of consistent work.
By talking to people referred to you by others, you will end up getting out of the established recruiting circuit. You will uncover opportunities that may not be out to the general public. Bear in mind that sometimes people hire people that they know, or that come from trusted sources with robust references.
The scripting helps you take pressure off the immediate result and focus on long-term impact. Desperation and anxiety make for terrible marketing. You will feel secure and in control, allowing you to be your best version when it matters most.
You will come across as someone hirable: thoughtful, with a well-designed process and with a focus on effective execution. All are coveted qualities in any professional role.
Serendipity happens when you leave little to luck — so that luck can come to the rescue when needed. So get on with your goal; stop contemplating your LinkedIn profile, and start making the connections that may change your life forever.
How to Network With People You Don’t Know and Get the Job You Want
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