Passive-Aggression Is Manipulation

by | May 2, 2019 | Uncategorized | 0 comments

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Passive-Aggression Is Manipulation

As someone who suffers from anxiety, I have been manipulated by passive aggression through the form of guilt trips. Guilt trips can be one of the most powerful tools in the toolbox of manipulation.

People who guilt trip know you hate it when you inconvenience someone, so they use it against you. You don’t want to be the cause of someone else’s pain. You don’t want to be the reason they have to make sacrifices just to keep you in their life. A typical passive aggressive comment might sound like:

Is it your fault you didn’t have time for an impromptu meet up? Maybe you had poor time management? Maybe you shouldn’t have taken that nap during the day when you were exhausted? If only you had planned your day better, you wouldn’t have been such an inconvenience to them when they decided last minute they wanted to get together. Now their day is ruined, and it’s all your fault, right?

The blame goes to everything and everyone except themselves. The icing on the cake is they’ll find a way to compare you with someone. You’ll ask yourself why you can’t be that person. You’ll sit there wondering what you’re doing wrong. When you have to sit there wondering what you did wrong, while knowing you’ve actually done nothing wrong, then you’re playing into the hands of a passive-aggressive manipulator. They’re winning.

This may sound like a line out of a romance novel-turned-movie — but be assured this is anything but genuine. It might have the word “sorry” in the statement, but they’re still making themselves out to be the victim. They are pointing out everything they do, all the sacrifices they make while making you question whether you’re not doing enough. This isn’t an apology, this is pulling the marionette strings of your emotions.

Don’t be scared. People who use passive-aggression use your fear as an open door to dance around in your mind and push all the buttons they want. Close those doors, stand up for yourself, call them out on their actions. They can use any signs of weakness against you. I know it sounds easier said than done, but if standing up for yourself doesn’t do the trick, then it’s time to cut them off.

Don’t Doubt Yourself. You may doubt everything you do because the passive-aggressor has spent years manipulating you with seeds of doubt. If you question your actions every time they’re inconvenienced, then it’s time to re-evaluate who really has the disreputable character here.

Build Your Self-Esteem. Spend time with people who will boost your self-esteem and help you realize your value. Realizing what you are worth will do wonders in helping you see the truly toxic environment that people with passive-aggression cultivate.

Don’t ever let people who use passive-aggression make you feel as if you don’t have options. Don’t be forced to stay in a situation because they will make you feel as if it’s the only situation you have. If they are strictly online, block them from all avenues of communication.

If the passive-aggressor is someone you know in person and you feel that the emotional abuse could turn physical, there are plenty of resources you can use on top of contacting your local PD if you feel someone is an immediate threat to your life.

Passive-aggression is emotional manipulation, emotional manipulation is abuse. Abuse is not a form of love. Don’t let them make you believe otherwise.

Never feel afraid to take action. Don’t let them make you feel guilty for it.

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Passive-Aggression Is Manipulation

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