A scared newbie
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17 posts since
11 Feb 2019
Hello Everyone
My name is Lee and I’m 45yrs old.
On January 28, I woke-up to a dull-ache in my lower abdomen. By January 31, I was in with my GP who gave me a physical, weighed-me (at my normal weight of 189lbs) and requested bloods. I asked him what organ was where I was experiencing the ache, and he said large bowel and asked if I had any family history of Bowel Cancer. I told him that one of my Mum’s brothers had died from it and that my Mum had been tested for the gene, which was negative. By Feb 3, I was 185lbs and by Feb 5, I was 183lbs. By this point I was constipated too, so I booked an appointment with the Nurse Practitioner for Feb 6 who prescribed me some Laxido. By Feb 7, I was pooing. :))
On Friday (8 Feb) I had my follow-on appointment with the GP, who confirmed that my bloods had come back fine and to discontinue with the Laxido. He wasn’t concerned about the weight loss as he said it was quite normal and within range, plus since all this started my appetite has been greatly reduced too. My GP told me that he was off next week, but booked me in to see him again on Feb 22 and put in a referral for me to have a tummy scan.
Over this past weekend, I’ve been experiencing episodes of what seems to be panic related breathlessness (I suffer from anxiety and I’m asthmatic) I’m constantly googling symptoms and I keep coming back to Lung And Bowel Cancer, where my symptoms slightly mirror what I’m experiencing: Abdominal-Ache, Weight-Loss, Lack of Appetite, Breathlessness and Constipation. On a personal level, my mind keeps wandering to another Uncle, who died only last month of aggressive Lung Cancer after only three weeks.
Yesterday (Sunday) My Anxiety was high. I felt that I couldn’t get a breath and my supply of inhalers weren’t working, so I went along to A&E where they checked my Obs, Oxygen and finally my lungs with a stethoscope, that were all okay.
I came home and pottered about feeling better. Then later, I had another attack. I didn’t want to call the emergency services as I was only in A&E that morning. It just feels at the moment, my anxiety is currently on a permanent state of high alert and now I’m worried and afraid that the cancer is in my bowels and lungs and that I’m going the same way as my Uncle. It’s affecting my whole body, my eating, my sleeping, physically and mentally. I don’t know what else to do.
5 posts since
7 Feb 2019
Hi Just Lee!!
Please don’t use Google!!! I would go back to your GP and discuss your worries and ask them for a scan referral , also I would ask about getting a referral for a counsellor as if you think your anxiety is becoming worse then it’s best to get them sorted as well x
36 posts since
5 Feb 2019
Hi justlee,
For the last month I have been going through what you are now. I was utterly convinced I had bowel cancer, made worse by losing 2 friends to the disease very recently and made A LOT worse, by Dr Google. Despite how many times I was told, I was on google every single day, reading the same sites and stories and making all of my symptoms fit. Bleeding, discharge, I also lost a few pounds, but it was due to stress, so my appetite was low, but to me it was another symptom that I made fit.
I swear if you googled a broken finger nail. webmd would tell you its something sinister.
I had blood test and the FOB test which were clear but I pushed for a Flexible Sigmoidoscopy because I couldn’t cope with the doctor telling me its probably a hemmeroid causing the issue.
I had my camera today (on a 2 week referral, which again scared the heck out of me), the nurses were brilliant, one even held my hand I was so nervous, and despite in my head matching every symptom, the result was totally clear.
I probably have IBS which has almost the exact same list of symptoms, abdominal pain, bleeding, discharge etc
I won’t tell you not to worry, because I was told that and it didn’t stop me, but just that I had absolutely 100% convinced myself what the result would be and today I was happily proved wrong.
Push for the tests you want to give yourself absolute peace of mind, my doctor would have happily stopped after she examined me and found the hemmeroid, but I am also a very anxious person, so asked for the camera.
If you do end up having the camera, despite what you might read (because again I went on google and freaked myself out), Moviprep (that clears your bowels) is a doddle, just add loads of orange or lemon squash. The camera today didn’t give me any pain, its over quick, its been 8 hours, I’ve had a decent dinner, the only thing I’m experiencing is a tiny bit of trapped air, which isn’t painful, just makes my stomach sound gurgley.
17 posts since
11 Feb 2019
Hi Grillz
I’ve been to the hospital, twice this last week where I’ve been so anxious. On both occasions the Docs have given me two full blood counts, and two X-rays, (one of my chest and one of my abdominals) all of which were normal. I’m still losing weight, but when I mentioned this to the Docs they said it was quite common with Worry/Anxiety and didn’t seem overly concerned.
Everything just seems to be taking forever. My family have said that I can’t keep going to A&E and that I’ll just have to wait for my GP appointment and subsequent referral. But I’m fearful, what if I am ill. I don’t like hanging about. I’ve had these symptoms now since Jan 28 and it’s turned me into a nervous wreck. So far, I have the Abdominal-Aches (lower left side) and the weight loss. I haven’t (yet) seen any bloods. My GP appointment isn’t until next Thursday, Lord knows when the referral will be.
Lee :))
36 posts since
5 Feb 2019
Hi Lee,
I’m sorry to hear your still struggling with the anxiety, but I completly understand. I had even looked into going private, but couldn’t afford £2500 for the camera. You dont mention if you have any bleeding or blood in your stool, or discharge, if you dont mind me asking personal medical questions.
My friend ( similar age but female) has just had tests in hospital, she has been suffering from abdominal pains for a few weeks, the GP suspected gall stones, she of course suspected something a lot worse. We actually were in hospital having our tests on the same day, though hers was a scan and a different dept. The outcome, even though her bloods were abnormal, was poor diet, too much wine and dairy. And she told me after she got the results, the pain has lessened, so stress was making it worse.
I cant tell you not to worry because you cant change how you feel inside, but I have to say, the fact your hospital tests are all negative is incredibly encouraging, if there was something there, they would have seen it.
Also, because the GP was suspecting bowel cancer in my case, she said the next step is the camera, they dont recommend a scan if thats what they’re suspecting, because if they spot hemmeroids or polyps, then they have to do the camera anyway. If your GP thought thats what is was, you’d have been on the 2 week pathway to have a flexible sigmoidoscopy.
A tip that worked for me, to stop me spending all night on google, I dug out my old games console and passed the time on GTA. It meant my hands and mind were occupied. I tried reading and tv but its easy to let your mind wander.
There is nothing you can do till next Thursday other than wait, which really sucks. I wouldn’t feel bad about going to hospital, if you feel so ill that you need to go, then go.
My appetite went in the few days before hand, one thing I did 2 days before the test (because the day before I was permenantly stuck near the bathroom), is buy something really nice to eat, when I came out after the test, it was the best meal I’d had in ages.
I hope the next few days pass quickly
I’ll check on here each day if you want to talk xx
17 posts since
11 Feb 2019
Hey Grillz.
Anxiety is nasty. Official. :))
In answer to your question, no bloods. . Yet.
Also, point taken about Googling, it truly is a vicious circle.
All I’ve got going on at the moment is the low-appetite, which comes and goes. The Abdominal-Ache (Left-Side) and the weight-loss.
Talking of weight-loss. . .
I sat online the other evening, logged into Google, typed in weight-loss and was given a whole lot of irrelevant snippets that resembled prophets of doom. One such article was about a condition called Cacrexia. Basically it’s a wasting disease that resembles weight-loss and lack of appetite with a prognosis of three months. Well, that scared the **** out of me.
I think the weight-loss is the one condition that’s making me more anxious at the moment. Although looking back, I think the trigger was the death of my Uncle Rod from Lung Cancer on January 12. Within three weeks, it was all over and that really scared me. Now I’m worried I’m going the same way.
But being positive for a tick, it was only on January 28th that I woke-up and discovered the ache. I took it to the Docs on the 31st and after my GP weighed me, I was the same weight. So all this has basically materialised in just two weeks. Which reaffirms my belief in what people say that maybe all this is Stress/Anxiety related?!?
Plus, the two X-rays I had at the hospital this week were clear. All my bloods came back negative and the urine sample I provided was clear too. All I’m waiting on now is the stool sample. But, I’ll be interested to see what my GP decides to do with me when I see him on Thursday. It would be nice, to get some answers and perhaps a bit of sunshine behind these grey clouds.
36 posts since
5 Feb 2019
Hi Lee,
You are falling into the same path I did, looking at the worst possible illnesses and picking one or two symptoms off the list, ignoring all of the others. I know its hard, but tomorrow, please try and not google your symptoms, just for 24 hours.
I’m so sorry to hear of your Uncle, of course that puts certain illnesses in your head. But knowing people who have had Hodgkins, Bowel and Throat cancer (3 different people), their bloods and tests didn’t come back clear, because they were unwell. Every test you’ve had has been clear, that is so positive.
The weekend’s hard if you’re not working because you have more free time on your hands, is there something you can do tomorrow to keep you off Doctor Google?
Someone on this site said to write down questions when you go to the docs and thats good advice, because your minds running 20 to the dozen at the appointment and by time you’re back in your car, you’ll remember sometihng you forgot to ask.
Maybe instead of google, thats something to do tomorrow, even if its an obvious question. My GP told me she felt inflamation and I completly forgot to ask about it at the hospital. So I’ve now got to go the the GP again and ask what that could be.
17 posts since
11 Feb 2019
Hey Grillz
We’re becoming little cyber-pals aren’t we. :))
You’ll be pleased to hear I’ve NOT been googling at all today. I’ve been pottering about, reading, tweeting, Quizzing, TV’ing, so in all a good boy. I think it’s important NOT to let fear or worry suffocate you, no matter how difficult it is. We live in an age where information (good or bad) is available at the touch of a button and that in itself can be a disadvantage.
Noting down questions for the Doc sounds a grand idea and so beneficial considering the length of our appointment times. At least it saves both time AND incessant rambling, which is what I’m most guilty of, especially when nervous.
A friend said to me, that it’s all too easy to drive yourself mad worrying the ‘What Ifs’. The key is to (try and) focus on the now and keep things as normal as possible and then when the time does come THEN deal with it.
But thanks for being there Grillz. This is a truly awesome site.
Lee. :))
36 posts since
5 Feb 2019
Hiya Lee,
I’m glad to hear you’ve had a good day, keeping busy is the key. When I first posted on this site, 2 wonderful people known as Telemando and Callum12 always replied to my posts. Rather than me leaving this site when I received my results I wanted to stay on and at the risk of sounding all American, “pay it forward”.
You say in your first post you are seeing the doc on the 22nd, but later have said Thursday, is it Thursday or Friday you’re going? Either way, it’s not long now and hopefully you’ll be “paying it forward” to someone else with similar worries when waiting for a diagnosis.
If you work during the week I hope that will keep you busy, I know it did me. Don’t forget to go shopping mid week and buy yourself a nice meal or treat for after your appointment. My nerves had affected my appetite, but minutes after the camera, I was really hungry.
Your friends right about the what ifs, but you can’t live like that, because everytime you get in the car, you don’t worry, what if I have an accident. Though I confess I went through the whole what if senario too.,
17 posts since
11 Feb 2019
Hello Grillz
Yesterday was such a great day. Today was a bit pants.
Had that dull-ache in my side today. Just one of those niggily aches that’s all. Plus, I’ve been a tad bloated out too.
The Docs is on Thursday, but that’s just a catch-up appointment as my GP’s been on a fortnights holiday. Last week when I was in the midst of panic, I saw one of the other partners who got a little exasperated at my worries. But, I’ve taken on board what you said the other day and made some pointers of what to ask my GP when I see him on Thursday. Hopefully, we’ll get some movement with things, but my friends think the GP is playing it by ear to see how things go. Still, I would like things to hurry along as this past fortnight has felt like a blooming year.
As you know, so far, all the bloods are fine. We’re just waiting on the stool-sample. My guess is that the Doc will decide what to do then. The ache and bloating doesn’t bother me, it’s just the weight-loss which is making me stressful and anxious, which is why I want things to speed along.
Anyway hope you had a good Sunday.
Lee :))
36 posts since
5 Feb 2019
Hiya Lee,
Are you ringing to see your results of the sample or will you wait till Thursday? Is your appetite still affected, its understandable if it is. The bloods results are a good sign and if you’ve not noticed any blood downstairs, its not likely to be found in your sample. When I did mine (not a glamorous job 
) the GP had ticked almost everything on the checklist, so they are looking for all sorts of infections. Your niggleing pain if not anxiety, could be a stomach bug or mild infection that antibiotics sort out.
2 more days until hopefully your mind will be put at ease
G 
17 posts since
11 Feb 2019
Hey Grillz
The appetite comes and goes.
I have been eating, but not as heartily as I would usually.
I’ll probably call the surgery and chase the sample before my appointment on Thursday. Hopefully it’ll be in by then, as the sample was sent off to the lab last Tuesday. In answer to your question, I haven’t noticed any blood downstairs in the three weeks since I first went to the Docs and without sounding really crude, I’ve been closely examining it. But when I went to the hospital last week in my panicky mode and I had all those tests, there was no trace of anything untoward as the Hospital GP said at the time it would have detected abnormalities.
But over these past weeks, my mind has wandered, if not colon, then what if stomach or pancreatic. But I suppose it’s understandable given the amount of stress and anxiety I’ve been experiencing. There was a point last week, when I thought I’d end up being sectioned.
But I shall keep you posted. :)))
Lee
36 posts since
5 Feb 2019
Hiya,
As long as you are eating, even if its more snacks than meals, what ever you can stomach, just get the calories in. I can understand your mind thinking of all of the possibilities but again, youve had clear scans and bloods, I’m sure something would have shown if it was something serious.
Although I’m a worrier, I dont have anxiety like you suffer with, so I wont pretend to understand that. Other than I can totally appretiate why its extremely high right now. One more full day to get through and Thursday I’m sure your mind will be put at ease.
Like I’ve said to someone else on here, insist on tests if thats the only thing that will put your mind at ease. My GP would have stopped at telling me I have a hemmeroid, which I do (so glam!!!), but I couldn’t cope with “probably”. As it happens the hemmeroid isnt causing my issue, but because I know its nothing nasty causing it either, the worry has completely gone and its now just an annoyance.
My tip, though it might not work for everyone, I got up early the day before and did all the house chores to tire myself out, that meant I slept well that night, rather than staying awake worrying.
36 posts since
5 Feb 2019
Good Luck tomorrow, I’ll be thinking of you 
17 posts since
11 Feb 2019
Hello Grillz
These past few days, the appetite has returned and this morning I had a weigh-in and I’ve put on 2lbs.
Anxiety isn’t nice, but you learn to live with it. I don’t take any meds as I don’t feel the necessity for it, I much prefer more psychological methods like CBT.
So, it’s Docs tomorrow. I have all my points and I’ll go through them. Before all this, I only ever used to go to the Docs twice or thrice a year, but since all this happened I’ve been a constant presence. The stool sample still isn’t back, so I’m making daily calls to the practice, but I’m feeling kind of feel guilty because I feel the receptionists are judging me, thinking here’s Lee again.
But as my friend said to me, you have every right to call whenever you want.
Anyway. Hope all is well with you.
Lee. :))
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