Free Yourself Through Feeling More
In the realm of self-help, especially inside entrepreneur circles and other platforms where the myth of “self-perfection” is preached, you find a new spin on the tired phrase “suck it up.”
We have all heard the common expression. It is linked to an expectation that one can, by grit and dedication alone, muscle their way through adversity.
As many similar cliches have originated, “suck it up” is popular where the prowess of the masculine is revered the most and given center-stage.
Such an obligation to muscle through our life’s obstacles — physical, emotional, spiritual or intellectual — seem to result in an over reliance on the tools of the individual, and more specifically, creates a perpetuating cycle of internal turmoil when faced with the many complications of our outward lives.
What is one to do when faced with loss, loneliness, shame or the ultimate challenge, our own mortality? Can we “suck it up” in such moments?
And if we are able, will we resolve the deepest burning inside, or simply satisfy the outward expression and perform through life rather than live it?
What is one to do when their intellectual self — the conscious mind — is able to lay the path forward, yet there is a deep fear, hurt or sadness as the path leads into the “wilderness”?
There is little in the tool box of modern western life that speaks kindly to other possibilities.
We admire the strong willed warrior, the stubborn billionaire, and the stoic father. The soft corners of our psyches are suppressed or ignored entirely.
A contrary approach, highlighted by the equally common cliche of “let it out,” manifests a deep release. This suggests a pouring, a flow, a since of allowance rather than a holding back
I feel this is an essential, and arguably superior, aim for our many battles we fight throughout life.
Yet, we are rarely given the opportunity to “let it out”. This can be due to life’s many responsibilities, expectations and the deep need to perform.
Such performance is rooted in the hopes to find our meaning in the outward self, among society’s many standards.
A pouring has no definite end. It is not as quick and simple as “suck it up”, thus, we have little collective patience for it.
Much like the many aspects of our society that value efficiency over sustainability, the processing of emotional turmoil can not be subverted through an act of withholding or ignoring.
When I want so badly to be done with my pain I feel compelled to “suck it up” — following the lessons of my culture — yet, it has not served me well to this point.
The pain of life’s more complex and vulnerable moments have tightened a coil of emotion inside, and at the center is a deep feeling of unworthiness, self-loathing and doubt.
This coil, made up of my many emotions of sadness and fear, encapsulates this root feeling.
The seed of our attachment toward the turmoil in life stems directly from our need to feel validation, worthiness and value.
By such attachment, we lock ourselves inside the layers of suppressed emotions limiting our ability to access those exact places of fulfillment and peace.
When we continue to adhere to a philosophy of muscling through our experiences we strengthen the armour and further the guarantee that our experience with such emotions will not be released completely.
Let us begin a process of popularizing the loosening of that coil and know that “letting it out” is not suggesting a victimization, but rather a way, possibly the only way, to experience what is truly controlling our lives and freeing us to experience our full potential.
Free Yourself Through Feeling More
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