How long does he have left? Colon cancer
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48 posts since
6 Aug 2020
Hey guys,
i havent posted in a while, been trying to focus and stay strong for my parents and son.
my dad has colon cancer, secondary liver, he had an operation to remove the tumour in his colon leaving him with a stoma bag, he began chemo and targed drugs, his had 3 chemo sessions and then they stopped that, they tried to get him a liver operation but have been told as the cancer is internal not external that wont work! I dont get it.
his now going in chemo to prolong his life. His liver is in a lot of pain now and he controls it with morphine tablets and a liquid form.
i believe the cancer in his liver was 6.5cm i have no idea how bad that it is, we seem to have been passed from hospital to hospital from doc fo doc and no one ever seems to be straight with him, half the time they never actually know what drugs he is or isnt on. His liver oncologist disnt wven know he had a stoma. I just feel so let down, we were told the op and a few chemo sessions now nothing.
how long will i have him for realiatically what are rhe atats no one ever seems to want to tell you. He said its not fear he cries out if but frustration that no one is just upfront with him.
what are the odds, does anyone have any advice on this, im so confuses all i seem to do is chase for meds appointments i had to areange the palliative nurse as the hospital hadnt done that or aorted his pain management out. I know this is hard for him but im drained and i dont know who else i can ask.
416 posts since
13 Jan 2020
Hello Kirsta,
so sorry to read that your Dad is unable to get an operation to remove the tumour in his liver ,due to its location,and that chemo was not having any impact.Its a horrible position to find yourselves in, and having no clear vision with regard to the future feels like such a brutal injustice.Sadly that is the nature of this beast called cancer,it affects individuals so differently making it impossible to use anything other than a very big brush when it comes to facts,but knowing this does nothing to make it any easier,and frustration leads to increased stress which is debilitating in its own right.
like anyone else l could not,nor would wish to comment on future events or timing,and l think the only definite answers you will have will be with hindsight.All you can do is focus your energies on the present to make his life as bearable as possible,leave the “what will be” to become “what has Been” and make the present the very best you possibly can.
Remember that you cannot alter the destination your Dad is travelling towards,and you have to take care of yourself and son in all of this you are both his future and legacy,
l wish it could be different,
David
48 posts since
6 Aug 2020
Hi David,
thanks for your reply, comforting as always. It sucks, like everyone else in this awful position im not ready to loose him, none of us are, im finding each day harder and harder seeing him in so much pain.
my sisters live seperatly to myself and parents and sometimes im jelaous id love a break from this, sounds selfish doesnt it, considering what his going through. I wasnt sure what i was expecting i know every person is different, i just hate all this unknown.
sometimes it feels like a really bad nightmare, not being able to help him breaks me, arghhh
thank you again for your reply, it means a lot xx
2 posts since
15 Feb 2021
Keep fighting for help and for yourself.
Take anything that’s offered to you even if you dont need it yet. Someone gave me that advice and it’s the best one yet. Self refer yourself to every cancer and carer charity or organisation you can. Ask them questions, tell them what’s going on what you need they can put things in place. Have a good cry at them I’ve done it lots they are used to it.
Most of all easier said than done make time for you, doesn’t have to be long. Mine is taking a travel mug of tea or getting a drive through Costa then going to a small carpark near a park and reading my kindle. When the weather warms up I might get out and find a bench, depending on how many people are about.
Big hugs xxx
How long does he have left? Colon cancer
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