How To Silence Your Inner Critic And Boost Your Self-Esteem
Do self-critical thoughts keep you trapped or stuck in a rut?
If so, you might have something in common with a white tiger named Mohini.
Mohini lived in the National Zoo, in Washington, DC, in the 1970s. After being kept in a small cage for many years, Mohini was transferred to an enclosure with acres of space, trees and even a pond. Her owners at the zoo were sure she’d love her spacious new home. But they were mistaken.
Mohini lived the rest of her life in just one corner of her new enclosure, pacing an area the size of her old cage until the grass wore away beneath her paws. Despite the freedom on offer, her mind kept her trapped in old patterns of behavior. And just like Mohini, many of us remain stuck in our habits, even though greater freedom is possible.
But what exactly keeps us encaged? Instead of iron and concrete, it’s self-criticism and feelings of inadequacy. We listen to our inner critic, which tells us that whatever we do, we’ll never be good enough. This negativity keeps us trapped in lives that are small and narrow, just like Mohini’s cage.
Surprisingly, some of the most famous people in history battled self-criticism and self-esteem issues. Pulitzer Prize-winning author John Steinbeck felt like an impostor for the praise he got for his work. He wrote in a 1938 journal entry: “I am not a writer. I’ve been fooling myself and other people.” Known for the “Mona Lisa” and “The Last Supper,” it was revealed in a New Yorker article that, like the rest of us, Leonardo Da Vinci also experienced self-criticism and self-esteem issues. Da Vinci was known for abandoning and never finishing certain projects, and he was also very hard on himself. Apparently a line from one of his diaries read: “Tell me if I ever did a thing.”
We’re often our own harshest critic, but that criticism doesn’t always need to be negative. To help your criticism be effective, you need to take a step back, distance yourself from the work or self-critical thoughts in question and look at it from a new perspective. Ironically, Da Vinci recommended this very approach. He would set up a mirror so that he could look at a reflection of his latest painting. This offered Da Vinci, quite literally, a new perspective. Seeing the reverse image in the mirror allowed him to be objective and judge a painting as though he were seeing it for the first time.
Similarly, you can learn to reframe the negative thoughts in your head and overcome them.
You’re encouraged, therefore, to read on, and discover how to reframe your self-critical thoughts so they stop influencing your decisions, emotions, and how you feel about yourself.
Most self-criticism can be separated into two categories: comparative and internalized criticism.
Comparative criticism is when you compare yourself to others.
Internalized criticism is when you feel like you can’t live up to your own standards.
Comparative criticism makes you constantly compare and contrast your life with friends, family members, coworkers, and others.
You might view others as superior or better than you with this type of criticism.
You’re also likely to think that others are judging you and assume you don’t measure up.
Internalized criticism makes you feel that you’ll never be perfect or achieve the things you desire.
The obsession with being perfect can be overwhelming with this type of self-criticism.
Understanding the different types of self-critical thoughts, you can now begin to effectively address the issues.
One of the most common self-critical thoughts is that you’re not enough. It can stem from both comparative and internalized criticism.
The first step is to get to the root of this thought.
Examine your feelings and consider your past.
Why do you feel you’re never enough, and where do these feelings come from?
Dysfunctional families, difficult childhoods, traumas, and illnesses can make you feel less worthy.
Even if others are praising you and complimenting your life, you may still feel like you’re not enough. This happens because it’s an internal thought that’s hard to shed.
Therapists share that not feeling like you’re enough may require healing the past.
If you’re having difficulty letting go of this self-criticism, counseling or therapy can help you get past these thoughts.
You can even try journaling, meditation, or other contemplative activities to release the things that are holding you back.
Each time this negative thought comes up, rephrase it to a thought that uplifts you and makes you feel like you’re good enough instead.
with your own special combination of talents and characteristics, and worthy of love and happiness.
Remind yourself that you’re enough. You’re smart enough, strong enough, and good enough to do anything. You’re capable of great things and can accomplish what you desire.
When you’re stuck and haven’t reached any goals, it’s common to have the self-critical thought that you’ll never improve.
You may think you’ll never get better and never get beyond a certain point.
It can make you give up on your dreams and make you walk away from potential opportunities.
It’s important to reframe this self-critical thought before it makes life more difficult.
You might think you’ll never get better at something while you’re still learning it.
For example, when you’re learning a new skill, language, or subject, it can be tempting to give up before finishing. The process can be hard and time-consuming.
However, it’s important not to stop before giving it all of your effort.
It can be tempting to have moments of self-pity mixed with self-criticism and believe you’re the only person who struggles with something.
Keep in mind that some things, such as learning a new language or subject, can be hard for many people.
Reach out to friends and family members for help and you’ll see you’re not the first person to struggle.
It’s important to give yourself enough time to strengthen your skills in the area or topic you’re working on, and not judge the process.
Pay attention to the little details and take notice of your progress.
Reframe the self-critical talk by reminding yourself that you’re always learning.
Another way to fight the self-criticism is to say,
You can also say,
Practicing these new phrases will help you feel more optimistic about what you’re struggling to learn and also boost your self-esteem.
You can also get rid of this self-critical thought by putting less pressure on yourself. You’re more likely to be critical of yourself when you expect too much, even if that expectation is unrealistic.
Give yourself a break.
Be patient with yourself and feel good about learning something new.
Thinking that everyone is better than you is a common struggle, shared by many others. Most people experience it at one point or another.
However, if you think about it, you’ll realize that it’d be impossible for you to be the best at everything. There’ll always be others who seem to be more talented, successful, or educated in their own fields.
Often, this self-critical thought comes from past experiences or childhood.
They may have told you that you’re not as smart or well-behaved as another child.
You believed it then and you still believe it.
Unfortunately, these negative thoughts can carry over from childhood to adulthood.
Instead of beating yourself up over every mistake, learn to accept your faults.
Practice forgiveness of yourself and others.
Learn to let go of mistakes once you’ve learned the lesson.
Be conscious of how you view your body, mind, and accomplishments.
Instead of saying everyone is better than you, say things like, “I’m good,” “I’m talented,” and “I’m more than just okay.”
Remind yourself of the unique qualities you possess.
Point out things like your kindness, perseverance, and other positive parts of your personality.
Avoid letting this self-critical thought stop you from trying new things.
It’s crucial to remember you have talent.
You may have many different types of self-critical thoughts affecting your confidence.
Remember, you’re your own unique combination of characteristics, shaped by past and present experiences.
This thought appears after a mistake or other issue.
Change it by saying,
Focus on the positive aspects of the mistake. Find the silver lining that’s hiding inside.
This thought can also appear after mistakes. It can also show up after failures or not being able to accomplish goals.
Change it by saying,
Accept the mistake or failure and move forward. Remind yourself of all the things you do well and are proud of having accomplished.
During difficult moments, it can be a struggle to see beyond the sorrow.
Change it by saying,
Remember that you’ve been happy in the past and can return to this feeling again.
Again, this self-critical thought frequently shows up after a failure or other shortcoming.
Change it by saying,
You can also say,
The key is to fight the negativity with positive thoughts.
Avoid focusing on failures or comparing yourself to others. You may not see the struggles they face and don’t know how much of a mess their lives are in.
Instead, think about the things you do well and control.
Relationship struggles and other issues can make you feel isolated and lonely.
Change it by saying,
Keep in mind that, even if you’re single, there are always others around you, and many of those people love you.
From coworkers to friends, you just have to reach out for help.
Self-critical thoughts can come in many forms, but each one can be changed.
It’s important to remember that the thoughts in your head are just stories. They may not be an accurate reflection of you or your life.
It can make you feel alone, discouraged, and unhappy. And it can affect how you view the world and relate to others.
The stories in your mind are all shaped by how you perceived certain situations.
Human perception is tricky.
The way you think about things is affected by multiple factors.
Ask yourself, “What is going on in my head right now? Is it positive or negative? Why?”
Pay attention to your thoughts and how they affect you. Listen to the mind, but avoid letting self-critical thoughts take over.
This powerful technique turns things around in your head and boosts your self-esteem.
Reframing can be the key to letting go of the negativity.
Self-critical thoughts can be changed!
It may take practice, but you can accomplish it.
Self-critical thoughts can appear in different forms and wearing different capes. They can fill your mind with negativity and judgment.
Learn to reframe your negative self-talk so it stops influencing your decisions, emotions, and how you feel about yourself.
Once you’ve practiced reframing and changing the negative statements in your head, it’ll get easier to do, and your self-esteem will only grow.
How To Silence Your Inner Critic And Boost Your Self-Esteem
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