Lost my partner
Together we will beat cancer
More…
More…
More…
More…
You are here
25 posts since
27 Feb 2021
Lost my partner of 23yrs on Wednesday from pancreatic cancer. I managed to care for her at home with the excellent support of macmillian and i will be forever grateful that I was able to hold her in my arms whilst she passed on. Now I just feel at a total loss and so empty.
538 posts since
28 Dec 2020
Hello mate I’m so sorry for your loss it’s horrible cancer I lost my wife to breast cancer the 22nd of December last year she left me a nine-year-old and a two-year-old to look after it’s tough I understand what you mean by feeling empty i’m the same i’m here if you fancy a chat
25 posts since
27 Feb 2021
Hi, that must be so hard having young children as well. I don’t know how people cope with the feeling of injustice and loss it is just so overwhelming how do you find the strength to pull through .
538 posts since
28 Dec 2020
Hi mate finding the strength to pull through well that’s a good question have I been able to do that The truth is I have no idea people say I just got a go day by day which I’m still doing just over two months on I find comfort in her memory lives on through my children! Then I’m really upset at the same time because why does it have to be my boys to go out without a mum why did it have to be me that to lose a wife she really was my soulmate we were inseparable she did everything for me everything I asked she wanted today and I was the same for her!
I guess I find comfort in the fact he’s in heaven watching over us and he is in no more pain and has no more cancer I was just waiting for me to join her but she doesn’t want me to rush because he wants me to bring up her boys first.
When my wife is sick all them tablets it was obvious he was going to do anything to stay alive and she loved life and there is a part of me that thinks if I just go totally contradicts what my wife was doing if that makes any sense? She told me if you want me to meet someone else I live a long happy life how am I going to do that but I’m totally in love with someone I can’t have anymore ? Mate mate the truth is I haven’t got through this I’m just going day by day and one day I’d like to come out of all this grief I don’t think I’ll ever get over the fact that my wife died so young but maybe now able to except it’s happened and I can’t do anything about it I never be able to accept that it was her time no way not at 39
I’m here if you want to chat
25 posts since
27 Feb 2021
I know exactly what you mean I too have lost my soul mate we was inseparable she done everything for me and was my rock always there when I needed her so supportive and now that has been taken away from me . Yet even in her last days she showed tremendous strength, character and dignity . But now I just feel lost i feel like I am treading water just waiting to drown so I can be with her again but I know she would want me to be strong and carry on. I never new pain could be like this I am just engulfed with emotions but I must be strong for her, organise the funeral and make her proud and then who knows what happens.
538 posts since
28 Dec 2020
I I know exactly what your saying about Treading water exactly how I feel and have felt you’re doing all the right things funeral is a hard thing to do but it’s also nice because you’re doing something for her and all the people that go to the funeral for the same as you well not the same as you but you know I mean! I remember when I was at your stage you had the government phone number to ring ring me once or something to explain what has happened it’s so hard I feel your pain three months on it it’s almost exactly the same whereabouts in the country are you from?
25 posts since
27 Feb 2021
I have done the ring once scheme. But I still have to deal with banks and phone contracts etc. But you are right aleast it keeps you occupied and arranging the funeral it is just so hard going through photos when everything is so raw. Macmillian have put me in touch with bereavement Council but don’t know if I can talk face to face yet. I live in Surrey
538 posts since
28 Dec 2020
Yes I remember having to look at photos for the funeral that day I actually quite enjoyed that even though it made me cry ever since the funeral I’ve not been able to look at any other photos yet I really want to do every time I go to look at one I just break down! Everything is still as she left it in the bedroom is exactly the same I’ve not cancelled her phone open to her bank yet that’s all ticking along like normal I haven’t done any counselling I don’t want to do phone calls with Covid stuff I would sooner do face-to-face I’ve been on this website since it happened and I’ve met a few people that have helped me on the way to sharing experiences et cetera were in the club nobody wants to be in i’m not too far away I’m in Hampshire
25 posts since
27 Feb 2021
Yes looking at the photos reminded me of how many good times we had but on the other hand reminds me that we won’t have any more together and I feel if I am not going to have any more with her then I don’t want any more so whats the point . I have lost someone who shared all my good times and when I had fun times without her I couldn’t wait to tell her. I know it has only just happened but I can’t imagine ever having this bond with any one else.
538 posts since
28 Dec 2020
Try not to think that far ahead one day at a time remember if you do that it is easier I know it’s really hard not to look into the future but try your best not to i’ll send you a private message
25 posts since
27 Feb 2021
Yes you are right one day at a time it is only 4 days ago that i lost my world. I don’t know how you keep it together with your children it must be unbelievably hard for you. It just seems that every second she is in my head and I get convinced that she is just going to walk through the door as though nothing has happened but I know the reality is nothing like that . Tomorrow I have to finish off arranging the funeral and the order of service it just seems unreal that this needs doing I can’t believe I have to plan someone’s funeral who 3 weeks ago seemed fine and I thought that she had almost beaten this awful illness but I suppose you can’t keep saying why could I not do more I just feel I let her down when I promised I would not let anything hurt her but I failed.
538 posts since
28 Dec 2020
I know that you mean about her walking through the door as nothing has happened I’m a lot like that now I think she is working away for a while! But I no the truth.
I was the same About the funeral We thought she must be in the breast cancer even the doctor is did She was told to get some rest to have chemo Then about nine days before she died the doctor came in and said she probably got about two weeks to live I was crying she was like don’t be silly I know my body I’ll be okay Little did we know the cancer spread to her lungs so I completely understand where you’re coming from!
I’m sure you did your best for her there is not much more you can do I remember saying the same thing I should’ve done more but what can I do I was just there to support her and tell her I love her and that should be okayI guess you said all the same?
A lot of the things she did survive she would be bedridden now and she would’ve hated that she would’ve just been waiting to die and my wife got to live the life that he wanted to write up until the end if that makes any sense she didn’t know she was dying she thought she was getting better I’m so proud of her for that! So as horrible as it is my wife dying when she did she got out of all the pain Obviously I want her to stay alive if there was a cure but I wasn’t one.
I don’t believe for one minute you found your partner I’m sure she’s looking over you so proud of you sorting out the funeral and everything!
hopefully soon you’ll have visitation dreams and you’ll start seeing feathers or strange things happening that’s her telling you she’s okay
25 posts since
27 Feb 2021
Another day we got through , think I have organised the funeral was worried about it now worried I have done it and have nothing to do now . Got to go back to work been off for 3 weeks have to earn some money now it seems disrespectful and I am worried I will forget her even though I know I won’t she is all I think of all the time even when I manage to get some sleep when I wake up I am looking for her Still think she is going to walk through the door as though nothing has happened. I know how you feel about wanting her to stay alive but then only to be bed ridden which she would hate but then I think at least she would be with me but I know that is selfish. I wait for some kind of sign that she is looking over me , I am sure they are and would protect us in ways that we will never no.
538 posts since
28 Dec 2020
Glad you sorted the funeral well done tough job done! It’s a shame you’ve got to go back to work so soon that’s going to be hard for you!I know you want her back I want that too sometimes even if she is bed ridden At least you’re still be here with me. I’ve had a terrible day today now the sunshine is coming I’m finding it even harder my wife love the sunshine she loves to be outside topping up her tan she was the best mummy as well for my children they talk about her so much and that is really hard trying to say she would want us to do all the things we used to do easy to say isn’t it
25 posts since
27 Feb 2021
Sorry you had a tough day seems untrue my father is staying with me and I was just saying I think I am going to struggle more when the sun is shining at least when its raining I can hide away and don’t feel that I have to go out. Must be hard because of the children talking and wanting to do what you used to do. Yet I worry every one will soon forget about my partner and just start to carry on how they were before ,when to me the world will never be the same because the best person is not here anymore and I miss her more and more and as much as I try she will never be back here with me .
Lost my partner
Research & References of Lost my partner|A&C Accounting And Tax Services
Source
0 Comments