My Mum has been diagnosed with secondary breast cancer
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5 posts since
2 Jun 2020
Hi everyone,
I wanted to share some devastating news today that our family received today, my mother was diagnosed with secondary breast cancer. This was after an emergancy surgery after a discovery of mass in the uterus in February this year, though further analysis determined this was not primary, though a secondary cancer from her breast cancer diagnosis in February 2020. She also had 2 other diagnosises of breast cancer 17 years ago.
I’m in my early 30’s, and to hear about this diagnosis has devasted my family yet again, though this time to be told it’s incurable is something we’re all struggling to process. My mum is in her late 60’s, and has appeared to have given up all hope. She’s a very scared person and has has so much fear for 17 years. It’s heartbreaking to see her go through this constant battle which keeps coming back. My dad and brother are amazing support to my mum and the family, which we’re all so grateful for, However I am struggling to cope with this, the fear and harrowing thoughts of our family being torn apart. It’s especially tough during this period, since her chemotherapy treatment starts next week, my brother and I don’t even know when we get to even see her next (we haven’t seen our parents since early March before the lockdown).
We’ve made our parents know how much we love them and support them, though I can’t control the endless thoughts going through my head since her incurable cancer was confirmed. I have so many uncertainies, unanswered questions, unsure how long she has left to live nor how to cope, let alone support her in this way. We’re such a close family unit that it hurts us all.
Any thoughts, advice or sharing similar experiences would help so much. Our family is going through another huge episode of heartache, and I struggle to see how we will get through this one.
Thank you
4244 posts since
11 May 2016
Welcome to the forum Ben although I’m very sorry about your mum’s diagnosis.
I can’t begin to imagine how difficult this must be for you all at the moment but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone as many of our members have been in this situation with their loved ones so will completely understand what you’re going through.
I’m sure some of our community will offer their support and advice to you soon but if you would like to talk things through with one of cancer nurses then you can give them a call on 0808 800 4040. Their phone lines are open Monday – Friday between 9a.m – 5p.m.
I hope this information we have about secondary breast cancer will help at this time as well.
Kind regards,
Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator
5 posts since
2 Jun 2020
Thank you Steph, things have been very intense and heavy during this whole time, notably with how tough the pandemic has made all of this. It is so much harder!
As an update, my mother started to have treatment (chemotherapy) and the initial results were looking pretty strong, though it’s deteriated quite very at a very rapid rate. The secondary mass was in her stomach, and is affecting her digestive system. The doctors are unclear what treatment can be done as she’s very weak.
I have sent the whole afternoon feeling sick at the thought of her passing away at any moment now, and with all of the pandemic restrictions I’m unable to just go to the hospital and see her. I’m struggling to cope and I don’t know what to do.
if anyone has been through anything similar, I would highly appreciate it if you could share your story. Thank you x
5 posts since
2 Jun 2020
Thank you for the recommendation, I’ll give this organisation a try.
The doctors today said that my mum has deteriorated so much that she has a matter of days left to live. I’ve been able to see her and tell her how much I love her, and she said it back, and we said goodbye.
I can’t even begin to process the heartbreak and pain I’m going through, nothing I’ve ever experienced before. This is the 4th time Mum has had cancer, and I can’t help but feel bitter and angry that our family has been handed with such an awful card. Mum is an amazing woman and never deserved this.
I keep trying to make sense of this, but I can’t. I’m worried I’ll never find closure or peace knowing what she’s had to go through.
9 posts since
18 Aug 2020
I can so relate to your story and I’m so sorry your going though this.
My mum had breast cancer last year and after her op and treament she was given all clear 4 weeks before Christmas.
Forward this January she had a fit and she was scanned to be told her cancer had travelled to her brain and nothing they could do for her. She kept strong in and out of hospital and died at home on the 10th Sept.
She is my best friend and I feel cheated to have been with her thoughout all her treatment, we cryed together we laughed together we did everything together and she’s just gone.
I just wanted to reach out to say spend as much time as possible, talk to each other and tell her your fears. Although as first I didn’t want to address the elephant in the room I’m glad I did as I know look back at that and glad we talked about it all. It’s so incredable hard but your not alone.
I hope you get to see her once she’s out of hospital. Sending you all the love needed.
Gemma
5 posts since
2 Jun 2020
Thank you for your comments.
Even though she managed to see me and say I love you helped me, though she’s so sedated from the painkillers that the mum I knew and loved is no longer with us anyway.
I’m so sorry to hear about your condition @Moonpuddle , my thoughts and support are with you. I do agree, perhaps because it’s so raw right now that I can’t think logically. I always knew the worst moment of your life is the death of a parent, they seem so invisible, and no matter how old you are, you see them as they foundation whenever you need them.
I just can’t process the thought of losing Mum, and the fact I lose part of myself. My Dad has been such a hero throughout her battle with cancer, and I’m terrified for him. All of these unanswered questions, and wondering what the point of life is when there is so much pain, leaves me into a crumbling heap.
My Mum has been diagnosed with secondary breast cancer
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