Popular Delusion: 3 Common and Devastating Lies We Must Stop Telling Ourselves
One of the greatest difficulties of life, one of the most imposing barriers to our personal mastery and happiness, is ourselves.
Our thoughts, our words, and our beliefs all shape our actions. And in this day and age, with so many destructive misperceptions bombarding us daily, it’s easy to be led astray. Not by others. Not by some devious devil on our shoulders. But by ourselves.
It’s possible to go through an entire life without noticing our own lies. It’s easy to drift, to be oblivious. We live in a society of mass-distraction and mediocritization. It’s easy to be dulled towards what’s going on within us.
But I don’t want to be. Neither do you. We all, deep down, yearn for the truth — for truth is what liberates us towards our higher selves. Even if that truth hurts.
There is no limit to the number of lies out there, but there are a few that, in my humble opinion, are widespread and act as thieves of the enjoyment of life for so many people.
Here are three very common, seductive, and destructive lies that we all tell ourselves — and must stop.
One of the most terrible things you can do to yourself is deny yourself the very basic gift of joy. Yet so many people do it: they outsource happiness to the void of the future instead to practicing the art of true happiness.
I certainly did.
I remember how I thought in my late teens. Back then, I was quite miserable, very dissatisfied with life, and veritably unpleasant, and one of the things I remember telling myself over and over was that I wouldn’t feel that way ONCE I GOT . . .
I was literally the classic example of the materialistic, selfish, morally aimless youth chasing a status-seeking illusion of contentment. It shames me to know that I used to think like that, but I did! And what a trap that was! I don’t think like that anymore, thank god, but how easy it is to grow up and be sold that belief — that happiness is the result of outward conditions only.
What do you need to be happy? What are you waiting for? What needs to happen first?
Outsourcing your happiness as a condition of some future event is like postponing your enjoyment of life until retirement. It makes no SENSE!
Happiness is not something you chase. It’s something you cultivate.
There are happy people who have a tenth of what you have right now. Why are they happy then? Why aren’t they miserable and telling themselves they’ll be happy when they have what you have? How is that possible?!
It means simply this: happiness is not in your circumstances. Happiness, ultimately, is in your mind.
How we think things are affects us FAR MORE than how they are.
As hackneyed as it sounds, if you want to be happy, you must choose to be. It’s a choice. A daily one. A smart one. It doesn’t mean you pretend to be happy-go-lucky 24/7. What it does mean is that you acknowledge that you have it in your personal power to make today a day worth living, a day that you’ll remember, a day where joy flourishes in your heart.
The how-to of this differs for everyone. But at it’s heart is one simple ingredient.
If you don’t believe you’ll be happy until you get a nice house, well, you certainly won’t. But likewise, if you believe that you can be happy today, that you have PERMISSION to be happy today, the odds of an enjoyment of the present go up exponentially.
Give yourself permission to be happy today, and then practice your unique discipline of the daily enjoyment of life.
Now don’t get me wrong, wealth can help us live happy, full lives. Possessions can be fun. Status and victories can be exciting. But there are plenty of miserable millionaires and celebrities, and plenty of oddly happy people in the so-called “lower stratification” of society. The conclusion, then, is that happiness is not something we buy, nor is it something we outsource to the future.
Avoid this lie like the plague, and give yourself permission to be happy today, wherever you may be . . .
Here’s the down-and-dirty on this very common belief:
I used to buy it. I used to plan my future with it. I would look at something I really wanted to do, something I had dreamed about for as long as I could remember, and I would shoot it down. Why? Because I lacked the ability? Because I lacked the desire? Because the tools and resources didn’t exist to get it? Hell no. Only because I thought that if I didn’t start early — in my teens — I had missed the window to “get started” and any attempts now would merely waste my time.
While there are many things you can call this, the most well-dressed, scientific, sophisticated word I can contrive for it is: hogwash.
What did I give up on?
I bought this lie for years and never took a step forward in these areas. And you know what? It made me feel unhappy — because I was neglecting something I knew I wanted to do.
Only since a few years ago have I turned it around. I started drawing again, took courses, and set up a recording studio. I may not be a rock star at either yet, but I’ve actually done things I didn’t think I could: gotten pretty damn good at character drawing, and actually gotten clients with my voice work.
How did this happen? What did it cost me?
That’s the formula to begin something great, no matter where you are in your life. A little bit today. Repeated daily. Creates a big change.
Don’t waste years of your life, years that you could be using to breathe life into your dreams, believing this stupid, popular lie.
Working in the medical field, I’ve seen first-hand what “too late” really looks like. Let me ask you this:
Then I have news for you:
It’s not too late to start something new.
It’s not too late to say those words you’ve always wanted to say.
It’s not too late to make that change.
It’s not too late to step forward!
Yes, a time will come when it will be too late. It exists. It will happen. But not yet.
Dropkick this lie out of your life. Don’t make yourself believe it’s too late before it actually is!
When we tell ourselves this, what we really mean is: we’ll never do it.
It’s easy to push things into the endless void of later, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year. It’s tempting too. When we face something that we know we ought to do, but that’s painful, a little voice often tells us:
That is the voice of this lie. That is the thief that will steal your potential for world-class productivity.
This is a universal struggle. We all know that feeling. For example, say we know we should exercise, and we have a plan to do it today. Great! But then the day starts, and our “planned” action begins to take flak:
Whatever the reason is, something has happened that signals to your subconscious mind that this task is:
What does that lead to? Avoidance. Procrastination. The “Someday Trap.”
I’ll do it later today . . .
I’ll do it tomorrow . . .
I’ll do it on the weekend . . .
I’ll schedule time for next week . . .
I’ll get back into it . . .
I’m really busy, but I’ll do it later. Really . . .
Really . . .
I know this painfully well because I fell into this trap many times, one being with exercise several years ago. It was a busy time, and I wasn’t in the best state of mind, so I started skipping workouts, even though I knew I shouldn’t — because it all seemed like a chore to me.
And when we lie to ourselves, we try to rationalize too . . .
It started out with me telling myself I would do it the next day. That next day became another day later. And so on. Before I knew it THREE MONTHS had passed without any meaningful exercise routine.
This lie trap is real, and it’s quite a doozy. Some people go through their entire lives waiting for a someday that never comes! As Tony Robbins famously said, the road to someday leads to a town of nowhere.
Whatever it is you want to do, the only time you have to do it — or will ever have — is today. Tomorrow doesn’t exist. Today is the tomorrow you thought about yesterday.
What’s the way out of this?
Even if it’s a small step. Even if it’s just ten minutes. Make a fraction of a step if you have to! Just take action. What I did with exercise was I took small steps. Now, irrespective of how much “time” I have, I always fit in exercise, even the smallest of routines. Why?
For momentum.
For the sake of the habit.
Because habits make us who we are.
Take your “somedays” and deposit them into today in the smallest way possible. Do it daily. Take small steps. Make it a habit. You’ll be surprised by how much it grows.
Only when “I’ll do it someday” becomes “I’ll do it today” do we really start. Don’t let this lie keep you stuck. Do it today!
But they hurt us only if we let them.
To pull on a classic concept, these false ideas are the weeds threatening your garden — they may appear small at first, but give them a break, and they’ll overtake everything good you’ve cultivated in your life.
The garden is your mind.
So let’s step out of these lies:
So let us be mindful. Let us seek the reality behind the illusions. Let us be vigilant for the lies we tell ourselves. For that’s what we all yearn for, in the end — and it’s the place where our greatest selves await us:
Popular Delusion: 3 Common and Devastating Lies We Must Stop Telling Ourselves
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