Seven Life Lessons from Finishing 20 Marathons
If you want to learn about yourself, run a marathon. If you want to learn about life, run more than one. On April 15, 2019, I finished my 20th marathon, the 123rd Boston Marathon. During my 26.2 mile journey I learned about myself and learned even more about life. Only a year ago, last spring, I underwent surgery to repair my ruptured Achilles injury, sustained during basketball. Regrettably, I deferred my scheduled 2018 Comrades Marathon, and during my long and painful rehab, seriously doubted I would ever complete another marathon again. On the way to completing my 20th marathon, I thought about seven life lessons learned over the years.
1. Don’t be afraid to start. The 123rd Boston Marathon began with ominous thunderstorms, a downpour of rain, and a proper New England chill. I was afraid to start, and considered packing it in rather than face the cold, wet morning and the 26.2 miles of uncertainty. Fortunately, I overcame my fear and stepped out into the cold wearing layers of clothing I would shed over the miles as the weather dramatically changed along the way. When the sun did come, it felt good, and when the rain began again, I welcomed its cooling affect. Ultimately, starting the race was a good decision. Life is full of new beginnings and each transition can be very intimidating. The beginning of a new job, school, relationship, or business requires facing uncertainty. When you overcome fear and start anew, you can shed the unnecessary, and could be pleasantly surprised by the changes that come from the new beginning.
2. Never underestimate your potential. It all started with a bet. In 2002, after an animated debate with a friend about the upcoming 2004 Olympics, I made a gentleman’s bet of $1 dollar I could finish a marathon, (although I was never a runner). I entered the lottery for the NYC Marathon, and “won” an entry. With no background in distance running, I read all I could about the marathon, and followed the sage advice of the author… “Drive 26.2 miles so you respect the distance”. I started in Brooklyn, and after an hour of driving east was in Suffolk County, Long Island, when I hit 26 miles. Wow! I thought, “There is no way.” Over the next few months, I followed the directions in the book, increased my running daily, talked to as many people as I could about training for and running a marathon, and learned much. In life, reading a book, especially about a brand new subject, can bring great insight and provide a virtual road map for how to navigate what seems impossible at first. After driving those 26.2 intimidating miles, I could never imagine I would now have the following running resume: NYC Marathon (2002); Prague (2003); Chicago (2003); Seattle (2004); NYC (2004); Marine Corps (2005); Twin Cities (2005); Grandma’s (2006); Twin Cities (2006); Green Bay (2007); Grandma’s (2007); Chicago (2007); Marine Corps (2007); Marine Corps (2008); Santa Barbara (2009); Walt Disney World (2010); Boston (2016); Boston (2017); NYC (2017); Boston (2019). I won the bet and still have my dollar.
3. You will always get what you want in life if you help others. After running my first marathon, I caught the ‘marathon fever’, and wanted to run another and another. Each time, I aimed to run faster, and for some marathons I did improve, and yet for others, despite arduous training, I would get slower. It was frustrating. Like many serious marathoners, the dream of qualifying for the Boston Marathon was my Holy Grail. Yet for years, a Boston qualifying time was elusive and rapidly fading to the realm of impossibility as the signs of aging impacted me with prolonged recoveries after my long runs. Then, in 2016, after a challenging overseas military deployment and a long marathon hiatus, an opportunity to run the Boston Marathon as a charity runner for CYCLEKids, an amazing organization, became available. Now, three Boston Marathons later, with the help, support, and generous contributions from friends, family, and loved ones we have collectively raised hundreds of thousands of dollars to help strengthen the emotional and physical health of children using the fun and practical skill of riding a bike.
4. It is not magic that makes it work, it’s the work that makes the magic. The Disney Marathon in Orlando, Florida was my slowest marathon ever. I stopped so many times along the way to visit with the characters and was enamored, like most children, by the spectacle that is Disney. It is also where I learned about all the work it takes to “make the magic happen”. So much work goes on behind the scenes at Disney and it can easily be forgotten “when the show begins”. Running a marathon is the same way. It takes a lot of work to arrive at the start line of a marathon, and when the show begins, it may look easy to cover the distance, especially for the elite runners. Yet, when you look behind the scenes you realize the great ones train every day, all year long, endlessly, for hours and hours. I love the marathon because it is the one sport, unlike any other, where you can enter the same event with the greatest running athletes in the world. I may not keep pace with Meb Keflezighi or Lawrence Cherno, the winner of the 2019 Boston Marathon, but knowing I followed in his footsteps (albeit hours later) and can share my own Boston Marathon story with an elite athlete is a great honor.
5. Put one foot in front of the other. Repeat. Simple lesson, yet so relevant for the marathon, and for life. In the course of 26.2 miles so much could, and will go wrong. In all my marathons, I began with a plan. A plan for my pace, a plan for my stride, a plan for how and when I would fuel and hydrate my body, and even a plan for how I would cope when my plan failed. Yet despite all my planning, in every marathon, my plan rarely survived contact with the brutal reality of those formidable 26.2 miles. The latest Boston Marathon was no exception. It was the one marathon in which the weather dramatically changed so much I could never have planned for it, nor could any of my other marathons prepare me for this one. So, I relied on a tried and true axiom. Put one foot in front of the other and repeat. When I was I was in doubt, and doubt occurred frequently, I put one foot in front of the other and repeated until I crossed the finish line. In life, many plans are abandoned in the uncertainty that characterizes the human condition of loss, grief, triumph, and redemption. In those uncertain times, especially when faced with the brutal reality of the formidable experience called life, the best thing to do is put one foot in front of the other, despite all the pain, and repeat. A finish line will eventually be on the horizon.
6. It is Ok to cry. Children, especially infants, are seldom afraid to cry. We accept crying as a natural condition for children, and yet as adults, we become critical when someone cries at an “inappropriate” time. I cried at some point during all my marathons. I never plan to cry, and even try to suppress the tears. Yet, invariably, the tears will flow. Sometimes, the tears come because of pain, sometimes because of joy, and sometimes for no reason at all. Almost always, however, I feel better after the tears flow. During the recent Boston Marathon, I made it past the start, past the halfway point, and was sure this would be the one marathon I completed without crying. Then, I saw it. A runner ahead of me with a T-shirt inscription that read, “Heart Transplant Survivor”. I lost it. The tears flowed uncontrollably. As I passed the runner, I tapped his shoulder gave him a “thumbs up” and he reciprocated. I thought about my own work as thoracic transplant surgeon and the story I recently shared in my TEDx talk. Crying can be a cathartic, and transformative exercise. After my fateful encounter and tearful experience, I had no doubt I would finish Boston.
7. It is not about finishing times, it is all about finishing. In the final analysis, 20 marathons confirmed a truth. This truth is now easy to appreciate and represented by the joy of each person that crosses the finish line of a marathon. In life, it is not about finishing times, it is however, all about finishing well.
Seven Life Lessons from Finishing 20 Marathons
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