This is What it Means to Get Your Sh*t Together
No one in the history of the world has woken up in the morning and thought, “This is it! Today is the day that I completely destroy my life.”
It’s just not something you do. Instead, you unconsciously destroy your life in a number of slow ways. You slowly destroy your life through one simple action, and this one simple action is having a sheer intolerance or inability to handle being uncomfortable or in pain. It’s not because we have a no willpower whatsoever that we overspend, shop, eat, drink, and hang out with all of the people who aren’t good for us. It’s just that we’re hurting in some way or another, and we’d do just about anything to take the discomfort away.
In fact, take a long, hard look at your life and your past. Consider the moments or actions that are your biggest regrets or the things that you’ve had the biggest struggle with. I’m willing to bet that you can follow each one of these things down to a single cause. This single cause is the point where your pain levels exceeded your resources to cope with it.
Personally, I can think of a lot of things that I wished I’d done and I regret. When my grandmother was dying, I made the choice to go to work instead of being there when she passed away because I couldn’t deal with it. I got the call at work that she passed, and I continued on doing what I was doing. If I could go back? I’d have stayed home with her and the rest of my family.
It’s so easy to assume that “getting your shit together” means that you’re able to perfect your coping methods, and you think this because thousands of people manage to do this perfectly.
On an average day, the majority of people spend their lives thinking that managing to get their lives in order and on track means brushing right over all of the small, finer details. They dream that having a strong sales pitch makes them stable, or they wear a certain size pants and it makes them feel that they are worth more than the people around them. They may even think that they’re immune to any criticisms they may have.
For example, it’s not about losing weight. It’s really about learning how you eat healthy and regularly while simultaneously dealing with the intolerable feelings that lead you to self-loathing, restrictions, or maybe even the urge to binge after every meal.
It’s not about taking that promotion at work that they offered you that you don’t even want. It’s about finding someone or something that feels so incredibly good and genuine that you don’t feel like you have to get stuck on what people think about it. It’s not about having a larger paycheck or salary that validates that you’ve “made it.” It’s really about dealing with the reasons why you don’t save enough money and overspend, or whatever the item is you’re trying to acquire, buy, or swipe your way away from.
It’s really about the time you finally realize that you‘re simply not going to get anything greater out of your relationships than you are able to put in or give. It’s really about appreciating the small things that your discomfort tells you don’t matter in the grand scheme of things like a spreadsheet with your budget or a well-organized purse. It’s about visiting your doctor on schedule and setting attainable goals like taking time to travel the world like you’ve dreamed or reading and learning more.
It’s doing things because you like how they make you feel, and not just because you like how they look on paper. Life has a mission to pull everyone apart in both small and large traumatizing ways. In response to this, most of us work to put ourselves back together using fake fronts and thin veils that are mere semblances of truly healing. We routinely date people that we know are bad or wrong for us because of how familiar we are with toxic relationships that give us a high that leaves us eternally wanting more.
We routinely indulge in retail therapy and experience things at breathtakingly fast paces because every time we dine out, buy new piece of clothing or accessory, and every moment we successfully manage to feel disassociated is more preferable than feeling anything at all.
Getting your shit together means that you do things that allow you to draw a breath more easily, and it means not doing the things that cause you to suffocate until you’re gasping for breath and you’re numb to the fact that something is wrong. Many of the self-help gurus claim that we process our emotions through breathing. They say that the moments that finally heal us will ultimately allow us to breathe deeper, and the moments that get in the way of our healing fill us up until we have a shallow oxygen intake.
Getting your shit together means finally being able and willing to take several very deep and very difficult breaths until you undo all of the pieces that you allowed your expectations and fears to knot up and tie together. It’s finally deciding that working on building a full, whole, and healthy life is the single most important priority you have.
All of the moments that you originally used to deflect and keep yourself from getting your shit together and changing your priorities? They were your real problems this entire time.
This is What it Means to Get Your Sh*t Together
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