Magic in the Moment: Bringing Nostalgia into the Now
I’ve always been reflective, and have occasionally found myself having what I like to call ‘reality checks’ — which for me mean that I feel strangely present in a moment with a particular person or in a particular situation and I feel almost that I have just found myself there, as if from some other point in time. I profoundly take stock of the reality of my life then and there.
I often find it funny and enjoyable, because it will usually relate to something I feel grateful for in my life, or put me into a state of mind in which I suddenly realise I am 27 years old but can sense the 17 year old girl within my soul, finding it incredible to be seeing her future — my present.
Earlier this year when talking to my best friend of over 20 years, who also happens to be the very talented wedding stationer making my invitations, I had a moment where I really took stock of the reality that we were both actually adults, and that she was designing invitations for my wedding, as a married woman herself, with her own fully-fledged creative business. Wow.
Our 17 year-old selves certainly wouldn’t have been able to predict this particular version of reality, and that feeling gives me a strange sense of pleasant awareness.
For many young girls, their wedding is something they always consider as they’re growing up and although I’d never obsessed about it on a detailed level, I always knew that marriage and a family of my own was something I desired. To be in a position in my life now where I am engaged to the most wonderful, weird and beautiful human, with whom I have woven and continue to weave a shared life, is a very humbling thought when I take a minute to step back and notice that one of those things I had always hoped for, but could never predict the details of, is happening right now.
It is now, but it was also yesterday, and it will be tomorrow. These things, as we know, don’t just spring up on us.
So often we take for granted what we have come to accept as our ‘normal’ or our ‘reality’, since these things have quietly trickled into our existence; but if we take that moment to step out of our reality, and look upon it from a different viewpoint (through the eyes of our younger or older self, perhaps) then we may find a greater sense of gratitude, of pride, or perhaps understanding of where we’re at, how far we’ve come, and how we can continue to grow.
We might worry that our younger self wouldn’t be very impressed with where we are in our lives now or what we’re doing — but if we take a moment to appreciate all the things we have achieved, taken part in or contributed to, we may find we’ve done a lot more than we’d think, or give ourselves credit for.
Defend yourself against the younger version of you; let them know all about the lessons you’ve learned and the ways in which you’ve grown. I can bet you’ll find a lot of things to brag about; things that the younger you could never have even imagined or planned they’d do.
As part and parcel of being somebody who enjoys and finds meaning in reflecting upon my life and experiences, I have always been a very nostalgic and sentimental person, who delights in looking back at times gone past, through loving eyes, rather than with a sense of wistful longing.
We don’t have to experience nostalgia in a negative or upsetting way; I believe that we can use it both to learn about how to live in ways that most bring us peace and happiness, as well as to remind us that all moments pass, and that we have the power to influence our experience of each moment and therefore its transference into our collection of memories.
This is where I move on to bringing nostalgia into the present moment.
What I mean by this is, in any given moment, removing ourselves from the reality that we are feeling and experiencing right in the thick of it, and imagining ourselves looking back on this experience in the future — be that tomorrow, a week from now, or years ahead in time.
Whenever I do this, I often giggle internally — or externally! I find it so enjoyably disconcerting, as much of an oxymoron as that may be, to become so acutely aware of my existence in human form; to think about what’s brought me to this point, or to imagine where I might be headed and who the future ‘me’ might be.
Sometimes the fondest or funniest memories to recall are things that were unpleasant in the moment. So perhaps we can approach them in the present in a way that allows us to find the humour or meaning (that our future self might find) whilst we’re living them.
Many of my favourite memories to revisit are those of situations at school where my friends or I got into trouble with teachers, embarrassed ourselves in front of others, or behaved in ridiculous ways during the throws of teenage emotion. These things aren’t often enjoyable at the time, but looking back upon them can cause us to laugh our heads off, or find meaning and gratitude in the lessons learned.
I truly believe that this way of thinking can allow us to find the good things in many situations, and if the moment is already inextricably ‘good’ and enjoyable, it can allow us to cultivate an even greater sense of appreciation for what we are experiencing, and truly bask in the wonderful moment we are lucky enough to have been given.
Yes, it’s lovely to look back upon good times, but imagine if we could work harder to feel that sense of nostalgia and gratitude for a moment right in the throws of it.
It’s easy to forget, and to get caught up in the wind of the moment, and of course we don’t want to interrupt lovely moments in order to make sure we are fully appreciating them — that sort of defeats the point — but it’s simple enough to take a small moment to appreciate the joy that will one day become a fond memory.
Instead of diving into your phone when your friend goes to the loo during your coffee date; sit back, breathe, and look around; notice the details of the environment; notice your connection to the people around you; notice how you feel to be in this ‘future memory.’
Instead of stomping through your woodland walk, your mind set on the flop into the sofa at the end of it; slow it down, focus on the wonderful sensory experiences there for the taking; the sound of the wind in the leaves, the smell of the bark, the birds flitting from branch to branch. Soak it up right now.
During silly moments with my friends or partner, I love imagining looking back at that moment when we are older and laughing at ourselves, remembering how happy we felt or the funny little things that we used to do.
I love feeling that fully immersive sense of my existence in nature when out walking amongst beautiful scenery and wildlife, and holding onto the moment whilst right in the midst of it, before letting it settle into the treasure box of my memories.
If I’m having a stressful experience; perhaps rushing around to avoid missing a train, or waiting to be called into a terrifying room to interview, I often try to look for the humour in the moment — to switch my perspective to one of looking back upon this moment as a mere memory.
If I’m rushing around like a headless chicken, I might try to think about how ridiculous I probably look, and how I would laugh at myself if I was viewing it from the comfort of my future self who survived the stress. If I’m feeling sick and acting sheepish and nervous at an interview, I’ll find ways to laugh at myself for the typical human responses to anxiety-filled situations and remember that in a few hours time, whatever the outcome, I can be back in my comfort zone and reflecting on the valuable life experience I have orchestrated for myself.
By stepping back, stepping away from the uncomfortable emotions and laughing at ourselves, or reminding ourselves this will soon be in the past, we can try to view things in a more light-hearted way. No matter how pivotal or important these things may seem at the time, in most cases, the uncomfortable situations we find ourselves in are not a matter of life and death, and truly seeing that perspective can do a lot to bring you back down to earth.
Of course, this is absolutely not possible all the time; I won’t deny the fact that many situations are more serious than the given examples, and we won’t always be able to find humour in a particular moment or view it in such a way. This mind-set shifting process is not going to magically prevent us from ever experiencing pain and discomfort, and it’s inevitable and totally acceptable to go through some moments and simply succumb to the idea that everything about them truly is shit.
But the more we can try to call upon this toolbox of nostalgia or reflection in the now, the more we can reframe our experiences and take back control.
With every moment and every breath, we are building the memories we will go on to treasure, or to use as stepping-stones for self-growth; so if every now and then we are able to step back and remember this, we might just be able to find that extra little bit of magic in the moment.
Magic in the Moment: Bringing Nostalgia into the Now
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