Mam ♥️♥️♥️
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3 posts since
31 May 2019
My mother passed away on August the 30th 2019. Me and my family feel so let down by the hospital , I followed the rules of the chemo card that we were given on the signs of what chemo can do , on the day before my mother passed away I phoned the cancer Ward saying she was breathless,diahrea and the feeling of a cold on her chest and they told us to go down to our local GP , I took her and they pulled her off the blood pressure tablets cause my mother blood pressure was very low, during her visit to the GP she was very breathless. Next morning at 9:30am my mother passed away at home with me and my father there, as the cancer Ward asked her to come in straight away that morning but it was to late she died from a blood clot to the lung , why didn’t I overrule the cancer Ward and GP , I knew she wasn’t her self and it was her last chemo before a break . The chemo was working as there was no cancer on the lung the postmortem said so it was controlling it. People need to be aware of what chemotherapy can do and nurses need to talk to the carer of the patient if patient is unwell enough to talk . My mother should still be here , I’m so lost without her xxx. My mother won’t be put down as a cancer patient death it will be as a blood clot, how many people have died because of chemotherapy unknown I suppose , cancer kills more than the government say. Chemotherapy side effects should be pumped into carers and family more to see the signs of when there is something wrong , patients and family know better than nurses and doctors when there is something wrong , better safe than sorry , to late for my mother ♥️♥️♥️
1025 posts since
3 May 2018
Hi my partner had a major stroke 4 days after first chemo two days later she was gone with sepsis i had checked her temp that morning and it was perfect .but you know that sepsis was like a blessing it took her quick rather than die in a few months if that paralysed and in pain . I was left with guilt why didnt i do this and that but the out come was better for my liz .so you see whatever you did the outcome was the same the one thing is your mum went quickly .it had only been 6 weeks that we got a letter from oncologist sayinging it was incurable but very treatable in truth we are still in the dark ages of cancer treatment it just takes you its so unprdictable if you try and work it out you never will it sneaks around our bodys growing everywhere it can even hide from our immune system i thought i had coverd everything i could but never figured on a stroke .even thoe the the sepsis took my liz it was the cancer and drugs for it took her there so toxic . Time now to look after yourselves it will be going round and round in your head see if you can all get some bereavment counciling with the local hospice not your gp its not the same then you can ask questions with someone who deals with it every day ime not looking for sympathy that ships sailed just an example of how this rotton disease works .best wishs .paul
17 posts since
10 Sep 2019
Hi Arwel,
I am sorry you’re feeling this way.
Something similar happened with my dad. From diagnosis to death, it was just over 3 weeks. My dad had been diagnosed with small cell carcinoma (lung cancer) and was in the process of having chemotherapy, he’d had one cycle and was due to have another a week later however fell very ill two days after having chemotherapy. He basically haemorrhaged to death and had to be referred to the coroners office for a post mortem as the consultant treating him, wouldn’t sign the death certificate stating it wasn’t the cancer that killed him. We found out days later that his liver was severely damaged (which was a complete shock to us) and that although the chemotherapy drugs didn’t cause it, they had a hand in finishing his liver off.
We sat down with the consultants from the cancer centre who were treating my dad and discussed everything and sadly, had they known he was in last stages of liver failure prior to his cancer diagnosis, they’d have never prescribed chemotherapy as a course of treatment. All his tests prior never gave an inclination that his liver was so damaged.
I think what I am trying to say is that yes, patients, families and loved ones should be educated in the risks that having chemotherapy can cause, however it’s a trial by error in most cases as the doctors have to weight up the pros and cons of a particular treatment. What can prolong ones life, can also shorten another’s.
Chemotherapy didn’t work in my dad’s case yet it gave my friend’s mother the chance to live again….the difference being, my dad was already severely ill so didn’t get off the starting blocks against cancer and chemo whereas my friend’s mum was robust and healthy enough to endure the distance of treatment.
3 posts since
23 Oct 2019
Hi. I had a similar experience. My mum was in hospital already with a renal abscess which was being drained. Whilst on the Ward, there were 3 nights of mental deterioration, low temperature, vomiting, diarrhoea, and breathlessness. She was septic but they didn’t catch on until she had a cardiac arrest. They managed to revive her but she then spent 10 awful days in critical care on life support with a tracheostomy fitted! The sepsis spread causing multi organ failure and she died in August 2019. The sepsis wasn’t picked up, and I have a meeting with the Consultants to talk about it. I know it won’t bring her back, but I need answers, otherwise I will continue to question it for the rest of my life! Xx
1025 posts since
3 May 2018
Hello i lost my partner with sepsis after chemo it can start with food getting into lungs my liz had chemo monday massive stroke friday and sepsis toke her 4 am sunday morning they pumped her full of antibiotics but her immune system was so weak from chemo and other drugs it just ran amoke .you know i was releived for her because the option was horrific .not for me thoe left me with a million questions there comes a point where you just have to let go or it will eat you up .ive not been long out of hospital myself with eurosepsis caused by a eurine infection sepsis is where the infection gets in your blood and your bodys own immune system can attack your vital organs but in lizs case it was so quick me i was in hispital 8 days its been a month now and ime still on antibiotics .if you need to blame somthing blame cancer this rotton disease can take you in days or years we see grandma’s on tv surviving cancer for there grand kids charitys hawking for money we dont get to see the true reality of cancer then we get caught out by it in truth we are still in the dark ages with cancer treatment powerful toxic drugs that make you so ill and compromise your inmune system if your looking for answeres i can tell you there isnt one until i studied sepsis and why i was angry but gad it took her quick they asked us if we wanted her to be resuscitate we said no .ime so sorry your suffering its agony and hope you find some peace sorry answerd your post twice but second post explains some more .wether you read it or take it in is up to you
3 posts since
23 Oct 2019
You’re right. Sepsis is horrible… it was bags of antibotioics for weeks but nothing worked and if anything the side effects were making things worse. I guess the meeting with the doctors is just a way of feeling connected to mum in some way. I hope you are feeling better in yourself. You sound like a lovely weapon and I’m sure your liz would be proud for the support you give to others on here xx
21 posts since
22 Oct 2019
Hi Paulus.
I agree with you that sepsis is evil. (Aswell as cancer!) My lovely mother died in October 2017. (So her 2yr anniversary’s coming up this Monday). I’m dreading it. She was a retired nurse. So a very kind, sympathetic, patient, funny person. I was so lucky to have her as a mother. We found out August 2017 she had bile duct cancer. (Quite rare). The condultant said she must have had it several years. Even my mother was shocked. The dr said it was slow growing. At least we’ve got some time, i thought! But no. It HAD been slow growing. He said it’s incurable. (My mother was 82). No way could she have been operated on. I ran out of the room crying. My mother asked him if it was worth having chemo. Or not? He said of course it is. We were told to book an appointment for 2 weeks time. But before we got to it. She became confused, a totally different person. She lived alone in her own house. She loved living alone. Still drove, was a great cook, loved music. Very independant. So her becoming this much weaker, nervous person was shocking. I rang her gp to make a home visit. (It was late at night & stormy. So i couldn’t get to her. I rang her gp. He went over. She wouldn’t answer the door. Was in & out of consciousness. After about 15mins she let him in. After about 3/4hrs she was admitted. They told us it was sepsis. Think she had a bladder infection. My mum always told me. If an older prrson SUDDENLY starts acting strange. They might not be going nuts! It could be a urinary infection.
Anyway. She was kept in about a week. I stayed with her. Then she was taken in for something else. I stayed at my place for a few days. When she rang me 1 morning. She couldn’t get up. Her legs wouldn’t work. Again i rang 999. The police had to break the lock & the ambulance took her. Her legs started to bruise. Awful big black bruises. Looked gangrinous. So sad. We were very close. I took the tube to the hospital. I had the most awful headache all the way there. (I have arthritis & high blood pressure). The most awful journey. I got to her & her legs looked worse. They admitted her. She seemed to suddenly go downhill. My brother flew over from the States. He was the best. Stayed on a mattress in her room. They’d put her in a horrible room. Very depressing. She would get confused in the night & call the police, saying the nurses were beating her. She did have alot of bruises up her arms. I was ready to have a go at the staff. But my brother shook his head. It was the drugs she was on.
I would visit her every day. But i couldn’t stand seeing her getting worse. 1 day they advised me to go in early. I panicked. Was waiting for the ward to let me in. 1 of the nurses asked who i was going to see. I told her. Saying my mother was getting alot worse. This shocked me. She smiled. She grinned an evil smile. I wanted to slap her face!!!! I rushed to my mother. She opened & closed her eyes when i walked in. I stroked her hair, kissed it. Told her what a brilliant mother she is. Told her to think of herself. Don’t worry about us. Then i had to leave. I thought i was going to havr a stroke. When i got outside the world was spinning. I felt drunk.
My mother lasted another 6 days. She died on the 28th October 2017. I lost 2 people that day. My mother & my best friend. (Sorry for such a long post).
1025 posts since
3 May 2018
You can put as longa post as you like dont worry you need to get it all out bit like a bottle full of grief you pour it out then its not in you theres always a bit left but it dosnt hurt so much.thats what happend to me but ime a big healthish bloke but i thought my number was up yes not all the nurses are angels m.didnt go to septic shock but dosnt it come on quick liza specialist said he had known sepsis take someone in nine hours .ime so sorry you had such a bad time its agony and the stress is something else im a dad myself so i know the bond mums and daughters can have i think us dads miss out on that closeness but we do our best . I l lost the love of my life my friend and confidant that day . Time to look after yourself now it realy takes it out of you keep talking dosnt matter if you repeat yourself its way of healing and we all understand on here it and i appreciate your reply thanks .paul
21 posts since
22 Oct 2019
Hi Paulus. Again!
I re-read your first post on here. I’m so sorry for your loss. You lost your wife so quickly. We can all understand your relief at her not suffering day after day. Month after month. So awful to see a loved one fade away. It’s horrific. You’re totally helpless. Cancer is such an evil, sneeky, horrible disease. It doesn’t care if you’re young, old, rich or poor. It snatches people.
I’m in my 40’s. I’ve had reactive arthritis since i was 21. My mother was the best. My dad died when i was 17. (He was 52. Had a massive heart attack in Epping Forest). So i became quite clingy to my mother. I was so grateful to her. I always dreaded something hapening to her. So i’m so glad she taught me to be independant. I live alone. (With a crazy hamster called Ian). Cheers me up when i’m low. Eating cake cheers me up! & comedies. Lots & lots of Ricky Gervais, or Miranda. Or Stath lets flats. If i couldn’t laugh. I would kill myself!!
So sorry you’ve been ‘through the mill’ emotionally & physically with your scary health stuff. I hope you feel better soon. Have a chocolate eclair. I’m sure that won’t affect your antibiotics! X
1025 posts since
3 May 2018
Well i cant argue with a chocolate eclair lol ive not had one in years think ill get a box next time ime at Tesco . Your right a good sense of humour pulls you up . How people manage without one must be very dull .it certainly floored me what happend to liz but when you love someones soul you just want them at peace but to be truely loved like you with your mum is a comfort sorry you lost your dad so young can understand how you clung to your mum but you will have been a massive comfort for her to at that time ian thats a funny name for a hampster lol i like it .paul
31 posts since
28 Nov 2018
hi im sorry for your loss i lost my mum to lung cancer 18 months ago she started chemo and was doing well the cancer dr done a brain scan it was clear he was gunna do some preventative radiation but didnt 3 months later mum had a seizure and slipped into a coma the worse part was watching her for a few weeks suffer till she passed away end of the day i dont blame the dr he done pretty much all he could
21 posts since
22 Oct 2019
Hi Paulus.
I used to go on another website. People can really ‘bond’. Eventhough no one ever met up. It can help ease the intensity of pain. I liked reading about your Liz putting the telly on! It was very comforting to hear she gave you a lovely warm hug. I know that feeling. I’ve felt a hand on my shoulder a couple of times. Plus. I was in my lounge, watching tv. Then i heard a weird noise. (No. It wasn’t Ian!) my clock radio came on quietly in the kitchen. White noise. I turned it off. Then it came on again. Twce! I realised it was mum. She loved to listen to radio 4. Plus. The first time i went back to mum’s place after she’d gone, was sooo emotional. The next day i was exhausted. My flat has wires on the window ledge so no birds can land. That morning i had the window open. I suddenly heard the sweetest birdsong. Sounded like it was in my bedroom. Got up. A lovely green & grey bird was looking up at me. Tempted to fly in. I spoke to it gently. Then it flew off!! I felt so emotional but happy! It was HER. Plus. I live in Central London. I was along the Strand. When the same sort of little bird landed next to me. Not the normal boring pigeon or seagull. It was as if no one else saw it. The pavement was so crowded with annoying tourists!! But that little bird just looked up at me, then flew off into a tourist’s face. (My mum knew how annoying i can find them!) It made me laugh!
By the way. Ian’s my 5th hamster. I’ve had BIG BAZ, NAUTIE NELLIE, CHEEKY CHARLIE & RODNEY. From only fools & horses. They should be prescribed on the NHS. Such funny little creatures.
1025 posts since
3 May 2018
Yes kids had one they are cute a lot of people have said about birds visiting and feathers a good friend of mine had feathers from her lovely mum many have them its to coinsidentet not to mean something .yes the telly being on that was strange never come on since the warm feeling convinced me that wasnt in my mind but .hey they all have cool names lol well ive a hospital appointment this morning to see yet another consultan as infection in bloods gone but the urinery infections still there not as bad now but they say it can take months plus ive protratitis and our bods can only heal at one speed but slightly better every day .i check my temp blood preshure and oxigen level reg my gp gpid if my temp goes up again straight to a/e but its been normal so far trouble is sepsis starts all the other things i suffer from off .hey hoo thats life ime lucky me thinks have a lovely day with ian .paul ps my son who liz was very fond of had that a kids walkie talking came on with white noise i suppose one day we will get to know but not just yet eh we both have a bit more living to do eh
21 posts since
22 Oct 2019
Hey.
I think everyone knows about health stuff on these sites.
Good luck with your appointment.
21 posts since
22 Oct 2019
Hi Paulus.
i just wondered how things are with you?
It was my mum’s horrible anniversary today. Met up with some friends yesterday. We had tea, cake & some snackky things, with wine. I was going to go out tonight. But i changed my mind. Stayed in with a cuppa & corrie!! Tea & Coronation Street just go together. Mum loved cream slices. I couldn’t sleep last night. So i was bad. Had a midnight snack (at about 3am!) had a cream slice & cup o tea & listened to the radio. I like to listen to phone ins. Like to hear other people’s opinions on things. Sometimes i go on & have my say too.
Anyway. Hope your appointment went ok.
Mam ♥️♥️♥️
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