Mum fell asleep
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18 posts since
8 Jul 2019
My Mum finally fell asleep on Friday after what I can only describe as the most horrific suffering in terms of pain and emotional turmoil for the last couple of months.
Seeing her rapidly decline was the most difficult thing but I was with her everyday and I hope one day I’ll feel proud of thay rather than guilty for not being able to do more.
I love you so much Mum.
03/11/66 – 09/08/19
749 posts since
18 Jul 2011
I can completely empathise with you as I lost my mum exactly the same way 5 years ago. It’s the hardest thing in the world to watch a loved one suffer and not be able to take away their pain but you were there for her throughout and your mum knew that. You helped her in the only way you could so feel proud and loved. May your mum Rest In Peace.
Angie x
79 posts since
22 May 2017
I am so sorry. My wonderful Mum died today and I feel the exact same as you.
Not sure what else to say except that you are not alone x
18 posts since
8 Jul 2019
What else can we say, we both know how terrible this feels.
But we are definitely not alone. Maybe our mums have met up already, who knows
❤️
1025 posts since
3 May 2018
Dont feel guilty we do what we can we are not drs your not alone we do our best and i bet your mum knew that thats all we can do just keep that rotton false guilt feel away as soon as it creeps in and it does tell yourself what you did i bet theres so much you did do it does make the guilt feelings less . Sorry about your mum i know its horrid stick with your family you draw strengh from one another .paul
79 posts since
22 May 2017
I love that idea! Either way, they still live on in everything we do, so we just have to make them proud and remember that they won’t want us to live our lives in pain, even though it hurts so, so much right now.
You’re not alone, we’re in this together x
18 posts since
8 Jul 2019
How are you holding up? It’ll be 2 weeks since my Mum passed on Friday. Missing her so much already
79 posts since
22 May 2017
Hey, I’m sort of okay, thanks for asking. I feel numb and sad and shocked and in denial but I had a really good day today, I spent time with my mum’s sisters and we sat outside in the garden drinking tea, enjoying the sun and swapping stories. My aunt came over tonight because I didn’t want to be alone and we binge-watched Gavin and Stacey, seasons one and two!
It sounds silly saying “I can’t imagine how you’re feeling” because, obviously, I can, but I was wondering if it’s any different 2 weeks later, like does the shock wear off suddenly or slowly… How are you doing? X
18 posts since
8 Jul 2019
Hey, how are you holding up?
It’s been 3 weeks today since my mum passed and I’m still in that numb/shock state. I always imagined I’d be hysterical, crying constantly, or not eating or leaving the house but It isn’t like that. The biggest way it’s affecting me right now is lack of sleep.
It’s strange but I cried more leading up to mums passing away.
Leona x
107 posts since
19 Jul 2019
Hi,
I’m so sorry to read about losing your mum at such a young age. It’s so hard. My dad died 21 years ago aged 53 of a massive heart attack whilst in remission from cancer. I say remission but it wasnt. He was told he had an 80 percent chance of the cancer returning and no options for treatment if it did. I believe the stress of those odds plus the toll on his body caused his death.
11 weeks ago today I lost my mum suddenly. Although she was older than your mum at 74, I feel so robbed. She was so active and funny,my absolute best friend. I’m absolutely lost and the passing of time is actually making things worse not better.
I’m pleased that you are having some good days in amongst the bad.i havent had one yet but wish I could as mum would be heartbroken to see me so sad.
I almost feel like I’m stopping myself being happy because the moment I do I will have lost her.
Clearly lots of us with horrible summers and 2019 in general.
Take care x
6 posts since
30 Aug 2019
Aw bless you. So sorry for your loss. I’m sure she is at peace now and I hope you have a lot of support around you. Being there every day shows what a strong and loving person you are you should be proud of yourself
79 posts since
22 May 2017
Hey Leona 
You are 11 days ahead of me but we are in the exact same position.. I was literally distraught before my Mum passed and now I feel nothing but shock and these small but constant waves of sadness, I think it’s because we both dealt with so much anticipatory grief, maybe? The sleep is affecting me too, I usually stay up to the point of exhausation/passing out so I don’t lie there overthinking.
What do you do when you can’t sleep?
Pip X
79 posts since
22 May 2017
I’m so sorry to hear about both your parents, what an awful shock it must be to lose them both so suddenly, especially your wonderful Mum. All our journeys are so different but ultimately, they end with the loss of one of our favourite people in the whole world and we are left to discover this new normal.
My aunt works with bereaved people and she says that they won’t take on anyone who has suffered a loss in the last 8 months because all grief, no matter how painful, is completely normal. There is no telling what is right or wrong, but there must be some kind of counselling you can have for such a sudden loss.
I really, really hope you have a good day, or even a good morning or afternoon, sometime very soon, and then you’ll realise that you can still love her and miss her but experience happiness at the same time too.
It’s been a terrible 2019, but we are not alone.
Pip X
18 posts since
8 Jul 2019
Hey, how are you doing?
I haven’t been on here for a while. Been pretty withdrawn from every aspect of life to be honest.
Things aren’t any easier, now 8 weeks to the day since Mum passed and I actually woke up around the time she passed away, around 2am this morning. That’s got to mean something.
Also means I can’t get back to sleep.
How are things with you? Sleep any better?
Leona x
46 posts since
30 Sep 2018
Hello LH, I’m having a bad day today. Mum passed on 11th Sep quite suddenly although battling terminal ovarian c. Dad couldnt wake her and called 999 and she arrested in the ambulance. I got the call at work and it was the most horrible nightmare imaginable. I was geared up for the long slow decline and bedside vigil. None of us saw this coming. Although she would have preferred the way she went and it was pain free. But oh so sad for us left behind. We went out for dinner two nights before and were planning christmas. I’m absolutely devastated and tonight I’m inconsolable.
I’ve been at my dad’s since it happened. Today is my first night home and i feel bereft. I’m worried about my dad on his own and my own sanity. I just full on melted down in my bathroom as I had been doing a jigsaw to relax myself and I clean forgot she was gone! It hit me like a physical blow and took my breath away. My mum is gone. Who will I ring when I need advice? Who will listen to my work stories and ask questions looking genuinely proud and intersted? Who will ring me to remind me it’s my aunties birthday and ask how the kids are. Who is in charge of the family now? It can’t be me, I still don’t feel like a proper grown up even though I’m a mother and grandmother myself!! What in gods name am I going to do without her!
Mum fell asleep
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