Resisting the Temptation of “Moderation”
I quit drinking alcohol a little over two years ago. I had been a heavy drinker for about a decade before that, and by the time I quit, there was no question in my mind that I had a serious addiction.
Even though I recognized the severity of my problem, I was still tempted by the idea that instead of quitting entirely, maybe I could just “cut back” on drinking.
I knew many moderate drinkers, including some of my closest friends and family members. If they could drink in moderation, why couldn’t I?
I tried to cut back on drinking several times. Each attempt followed a similar pattern of a reduction followed by an increase, which eventually ended in me drinking just as much as I always had.
I finally accepted that “cutting back” on drinking wasn’t in the cards for me. To get over my addiction, I had to cut alcohol out completely:
I quit drinking altogether, and I’ve now been proudly sober for over two years.
Moderation has been back on my mind this week as I try to shake my other long-term addiction — smoking.
I’ve smoked cigarettes for just about as long as I was a drinker. I’ve had short-term success dropping the habit in the past, but I’ve struggled to stay quit.
I stopped smoking again last month. In order to make sure I succeed, I’m trying my best to apply all the lessons I’ve learned from quitting drinking.
People don’t talk about “moderation” as much in regards to smoking as they do in regards to drinking. I think that there’s a more widespread acceptance of the idea that people can’t be “moderate” cigarette smokers.
For almost the entire time I was a smoker, I smoked about a pack of cigarettes a day. Even when I was at my most “moderate,” I was still going through at least ten a day.
Nearly every smoker I know has a similar habit. One pack a day seems to be the most common frequency and I’ve rarely met anyone who strays too far from this in either direction.
That’s why I was extremely surprised this week when I met someone who told me she’s been smoking just two cigarettes a day for several decades.
She said that when she woke up each morning she’d smoke her first cigarette, and then smoke a second one sometime each night. Despite the habit lasting for years, it had never escalated.
My first reaction to hearing about her smoking habit was jealousy. I thought that if I could cut my smoking down from a pack a day to just two cigarettes a day, I would happily keep smoking for the rest of my life.
From that jealousy, my mind then went to temptation. I started to wonder: “What if I maybe can cut down to just two cigarettes a day? If she can do it, why can’t I do it too? Maybe she’s discovered some secret; maybe she can teach me to be a moderate smoker.”
As soon as I realized what I was doing, I shut these thoughts down.
First of all, even a couple of cigarettes a day would still be bad for my health. Sure, it might be better than an entire pack, but it’s a whole lot worse than stopping smoking entirely.
Even setting aside the health issues though, the idea that I could ever smoke “moderately” is just ridiculous.
I know from the evidence in my own life that I can’t smoke (or drink) in moderation. With both of these habits, I always escalate quickly to an absurd amount.
I’ve spent years of my life smoking a pack of cigarettes each day and drinking to the point of drunkenness each night. There is no reason to believe that things would suddenly be different now from the way they’ve always been.
I’ve been down these paths before and I don’t like where they lead.
With addictions, it’s so tempting to compare myself to others. I’ve done this in a lot of ways. Sometimes it’s looking to moderate drinkers as an example, falsely conflating their drinking habits with my own. Other times, I’ve looked to people with more severe problems than my own in order to downplay how bad my addictions had become.
The stories of other addicts have been incredibly helpful tools, but they should never become excuses. The key for me to get sober was to focus on myself — my own personal relationship with alcohol. That’s the strategy that I’m using now for smoking too. For me, “moderation” will never be a real option.
Resisting the Temptation of “Moderation”
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