Shocked and scared bowel tumour
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2 posts since
18 Jun 2020
Hello all
After some changes in bowel habits last year (which then disappeared), anemia and then a bout of pain in January, I finally had my first test – an MRI last week. On Monday the consultant rang to say they he had found an abnormality, and was putting me on the 2 week pathway of a CT scan and colonoscopy. He wouldn’t be drawn on any more info on the phone.
Today was my CT scan. The green referral slip read abdominal tumour. Although I’ve been mentally preparing, reading that was a huge shock. I’m 42, really healthy with two wonderful kids. I’ve not had symptoms in months.
I have the colonoscopy on Monday and I’m absolutely terrified, given I’ve had symptoms for a while.
Having to be strong at home for my family (my young daughter only finished treatment for leukemia 1.5 years ago so we are still all recovering from that). But I don’t know what to do with myself, so scared and heartbroken for my family. And all this during Covid. Can someone reach out?
X
256 posts since
13 Jan 2020
Hello here,wearethen,
although l can well imagine you would rather be elsewhere than having to face up to your current position,l am sorry that this is such a worrying time for you.Try not to overthink outcomes,better to save your energies for the time when you know exactly what you are facing.
It good news to read that you are really healthy and it bodes well for a positive outcome,and suggests that it is early stage.
Many people make super recoveries from colon cancer and the treatments improve year on year.l am now seven years on from one that visited and then decided to go on holiday in my liver,and that was seen off.The colonoscopy will give a definitive answer as to the tumour and if there is any spread to nearby lymph nodes and should be viewed as a very positive step as it will lead to the correct treatment to help you see off your squatter.
l hope your results come back better than you fear,good luck for monday,
David
2 posts since
18 Jun 2020
David
Thanks so so much for your reply and sharing your story. I’m trying not to think the worst but finding it hugely difficult to control my anxiety, and have a twingy pain in my left groin which I’m now worried is a sign of spread.
I veer from thinking I’ll face up to whatever comes to just being a sweating ball of fear about what lies ahead.
X
256 posts since
13 Jan 2020
Hello Herewearethen,
l am not surprised you are twisting and turning with this unwelcome burden on your mind,l remember my time only too well,unfortunately its a normal response.The danger comes from allowing anxiety to grow into a runaway monster. The mind is a powerful thing and is capable of creating intense pains within your body by overfocusing upon a certain area,much similar to the placebo effect in drugs.
l am not saying that your pain is not real,or that you should ignore the signs ,just to be aware of the potential effects of heightened anxiety,more of which you will surely face as you journey through treatment.Discovering the knack of distancing yourself from the daily reality ,and in effect delegating some of that to your medical team,allowing them to worry on your behalf is really helpful.Exhaustion might help you in this,purely because you become too tired to manage the effort constantly yourself.Having lots of friendly shoulders around you to take some of your load is great,family are wonderful but so too are knowledgeable strangers,and if you are anywhere near a Maggies centre make full use of all they have to offer,they would be a wonderfully calming oasis in an extremely turbulent period of your life,and l can highly reccommend them.
Arm yourself with all the help,knowledge and understanding from third parties that is available to help yourself through this struggle and never feel uncertain about doing so, it will not take away the difficulties, but really will make it so much easier to for you to face them.In the meantime do not forget to have moments of happiness however fleeting,they are still there,you just have to let them in,
take care,
David
Shocked and scared bowel tumour
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