Why Happiness Should Not Be Your End Goal & What Should Be
What some people find exhilarating and exciting, others feel terrified of. You might love somebody that somebody else hates.
It doesn’t matter what we do in our lives; we’ll have an emotion attached to it. Granted, the intensity varies from person to subject; but every experience we have comes with an internal emotion to accompany it and tell us how we feel.
For many, the emotion you’ll strive for the most is happiness.
You might spend most of your life in the pursuit of happiness, looking for it in everything you do from where you work, the relationships you’re involved in and the experiences you engage with.
However, there’s a problem.
There are so many people who have made happiness their goal — the be all and end all of their lifetime journeys —they’ll do anything to feel this way; even if that means pushing other emotions to the wayside.
Even if this means lying to themselves about how they truly feel.
A lifetime of fulfillment, satisfaction, and contentment is all within your grasp, but first you’ll need to switch up your perspective and realize the importance of emotional balance.
I recently made a YouTube video on why we shouldn’t force positivity in our lives and why emotional balance is so important. If you’d like to support the channel and join the journey of creating our best lives, check it out here!
All emotions provide so much value in our lives.
In fact, emotions are what form our identities as individuals and shape our character into the person we are.
It all comes from our emotions.
No matter what experience you’re involved in, you’re going to feel a certain emotion which, in turn, creates the memorable experience you’ve invested in.
These internal, unconscious reactions are typically seen as either ‘positive’ or ‘negative’ emotions that will make you feel a certain way.
For example;
If someone you love passes away, you’re going to feel sad and hurt.
When intense enough, these emotions can sometimes feel like actual physical and mental pain that can cripple the person experiencing it.
When you’re sitting on the edge of a plane, legs hanging over the edge about to plunge on your first skydive at 15,000ft, fear can consume your entire being, forcing you into the present moment with all kinds of thoughts going through your mind, most notably that these might be your last ever ones.
If you’re at work, mindlessly tapping away at a computer or serving customers with a forced smile, you might feel bored, unmotivated and unchallenged. You might stare out the window, thinking back to a more pleasurable time of your life, or imagining a brighter future.
None of these are negative experiences.
I know, it’s hard to believe.
In fact, these are some of the most beneficial experiences you can have because they show you what you value in your life — what you care and don’t care about.
Once you start becoming mindful of your emotions and embracing that how you feel is how you really feel, you can start to see what you value as an individual and what actually means something in your life.
Otherwise, how are you going to have the remotest idea of who you really are?
Throughout recent decades, especially since the boom of social media, we’ve entered a period of humanity where if you’re not feeling positive, you force it.
This is evident on countless YouTube channels, online streams, and television shows. In our Big Brother lives, when we’re feeling like shit, we’ll happily post GIFs and emojis that suggest otherwise and create a false impression of how we’re feeling at the time.
Even in the eyes of our following acquaintances, especially if they don’t know what’s going behind closed doors, uploading a smiley vacation snap is only going to create the impression you’re living your best life.
Even if you’re not.
This was a huge problem with me after my car accident last year, and for the first time in my life, I experienced a full-on, crippling panic attack.
I was basically paralyzed on the floor, every cell in my body flooded with an intense dread and fear I couldn’t shake, my heart beating so fast I thought it was going to burst out of my chest.
At first, I did everything I could to make myself feel happy. I would lay on the floor screaming at myself internally, telling myself everything was okay while forcefully wishing I felt the exact opposite of how I felt at the time.
However, it wasn’t until I embraced those feelings that things started to improve.
It wasn’t until I accepted how I felt at any given moment and simply let myself Be; realizing all emotions are temporary and it’s okay if I feel bad now, I’m not going to feel like this forever.
In fact, feeling this way was incredibly beneficial and somewhat enlightening because it taught me about the importance of emotion, and allowed me to embrace, accept and move on from the traumatic event of my past.
There are always positives to every negative.
Recapping what we spoke about above, we mentioned how a lot of people spend their lives aiming for happiness.
However, instead of aiming to live your life through one emotion and feeling guilty, upset or as though you’re not living the life you want, instead set the goal of providing yourself with the opportunities and experiences that are going to make you witness different feelings.
Make you feel a variety of emotions.
From pottery classes and hanging out with friends to skydiving and talking with strangers, put yourself in positions where you’ll give yourself the opportunity to feel something new.
If you connect with the experience or person, you’ll feel good. If you don’t, you’ll feel bad.
Either way, you’ll grow from it.
Let’s say you’re in a relationship and you’re not feeling happy about it.
You’re miserable around your partner, and you keep arguing, but you keep saying to yourself that everything is fine. After all, this is the person you fell in love with.
I’m not saying you have to break up; I’m saying listen to your body; feel the emotions you’re feeling and embrace them. Let them teach you what the problems in your life are and what needs to change.
The same goes for everything, including all your relationships, your ability to work and stay motivated, your productivity, and the amount of fulfillment you get out of life.
You’ll grow and learn so much about who you truly are and what values you have about the things in your life.
There’s no need to shy away from yourself and try to pretend to be something you’re not. Let yourself be the person you’re meant to be; not for anyone other than yourself.
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Why Happiness Should Not Be Your End Goal & What Should Be
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