Why I’d Prefer To Sit At Home Unemployed Than See People’s Dreams Destroyed
Right now, I’m sitting at home in my apartment writing this article. In case you’re wondering, it’s a modest apartment. It’s what I’d call one step above student accommodation. There’s no marble bench tops, designer furniture or beautiful shiny floorboards that sparkle in the Australian sunlight.
It’s a simple apartment in the same way I view life. I adore simplicity because with it comes a sense of clarity you just can’t find anywhere else. It’s this sense of clarity that led me today.
Today I’m unemployed. It’s day four of this battle — but who’s counting? Not me. I’m sitting at home because I couldn’t bring myself to destroy people’s dreams any longer. Unemployment is a choice and is a better one than being forced to see people’s dreams be destroyed.
For the last few months, I’ve been asked to do some pretty difficult things in my career. Everything that I stand for has been violated in some shape or form because stupidly, I made a bad decision. I chose a company instead of a leader. It’s this mistake that I will never make again. Leadership can be a drug and when you get your first real opportunity as I did, the temptation to chase it with everything you’ve got and ignore what you’re being asked to do can be difficult.
Yes, leadership is a beautiful thing but not if it’s at the expense of the people you lead. These people I led had dreams, goals and aspirations. I went to work each day knowing that they had a different fate. I had to look them in the eye and tell them it was all going to be okay when the reality was, that was BS.
The temptation to give hints about the future or say things I shouldn’t was like walking around with a giant gorilla strapped to my back. It wasn’t all bad, but it wasn’t easy either. We think we would never do certain things until we’re put in that situation and forced to make a decision. Will you choose leadership and the pay cheque that comes with it, or unemployment? This was the thought that plagued my life for the last few months.
It took some time until I finally made the decision to choose unemployment.
Sitting at home with all the time in the world can feel like a victory. Isn’t this the dream? No job and a passive income? For me, it hasn’t been a dream. The time has allowed me to think and it has also allowed me to become unproductive.
You can end up giving into endless temptations because all the structure and discipline in your life has vanished like Jumping Jack Flash. The contemplation is powerful, though.
Contemplating life and unemployment holds so many secrets that you could never quite imagine you’d been separated from. Yesterday I caught up with an old friend and after our meeting, he said: “What’s on for the rest of the afternoon?” For the first time in a very long time, I said “Nothing I guess. I have nowhere to be and nothing to do.”
Even though I was a few days into unemployment, the reality that I had time had escaped me. This question interrupted my thoughts. So, for the next few hours, during a warm Melbourne day, I went and sat by the Yarra River. There were views of the famous MCG stadium, the Arts Centre, tall buildings a mile high, and people rushing back to their office after lunch. Life seemed to slow down and for a few hours, I analyzed everything in sight. What did it all mean?
Dogs passed by wanting to be patted, people on their phones talked loudly, trains roared down the railway and people walked through the city like ants in their nest. It was beautiful to watch.
This was life and it took unemployment for me to see it for the first time in a long time.
After my life-observing session, I went home again. I was still unemployed — that had not changed. But my perspective had shifted, slightly. What became apparent was that while unemployment might seem like a prison sentence, it’s not. Apart from the time to think and contemplate what’s next, I realized why I became a leader in the first place: it was because of the people.
I love people and I love seeing them win and hit their goals. My job as a leader was forcing me to kill peoples dreams rather than making them come true. The difference between my inner values and my reality was eating me up inside. I just couldn’t do it anymore. People’s dreams are something sacred and no one can fully understand them other than the dreamers themselves.
We all have a dream.
While unemployment may be frowned upon, through my recent unemployment, I’ve learned that it’s better than being the executioner of people’s dreams. No one should have to know what that feels like and it’s not a sustainable way to live your life.
It’s for this reason that I prefer, in the short-term, to sit at home unemployed, than go to work each day and kill people’s dreams. If your dream involves murdering someone else’s dreams, taste the bitterness of unemployment for a while.
You might find the bitterness refreshing like a lemon that you add to your soda water.
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Why I’d Prefer To Sit At Home Unemployed Than See People’s Dreams Destroyed
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